I don’t know why I’m posting this here, I think I don’t really have anyone irl I can properly talk to (I have some friends I vent to about things but everyone has their own problems and what not). I am 20 and I am just so done with living. I wouldn’t say I’m even depressed although taking anxiety medication and anti depressants in the past, I think I’m just realistic in that nothing is really that great. I think I’m just pretty done with actually being alive which I feel is something many people have in common. It’s not self hatred which I can work on with therapy etc just hatred for the world which won’t get better because the world won’t get better. Everyday is a chore, waking up and working and earning money and feeling stressed and anxious and unhappy with constant worry for the future, about the past, politics, BREXIT, the environment, health, family pretty much everything is negative and stressful and needs worrying about. It’s no wonder so many people have anxiety and depression these days because this is what we’re living for, fear of the higher powers that can lock us up and take away our human rights, fear for the future of our government, country, environment and the whole world. The small things we get enjoyment from people turn into a negative for us (unhealthy food, relaxing self care time, animals, kids) everything I have ever enjoyed just seems to actually be a chore and an expectation. Everything is corrupt, we go to work to earn money to spend on things to keep us alive and give us a basic life but for what? I should be happy and I’m very good at putting on a front to my boyfriend, friends, family, I’m a carer for disabled children, I’m young, have a nice car, a good amount of savings etc but knowing everything will eventually end anyway one day just makes all of my existence and hard work seem pointless and I know I’m not the only one thinking this. I really don’t know why I posted this or what I’m expecting responses to be but AIBU to think that this is just the life we have and even if you try and have the best most fulfilling life possible so much along the way goes so wrong and everyone is so unhappy and everything is corrupt and to think that I feel like this while living in a 1st world country makes me feel so horrible and selfish but it’s actually really fucking hard being alive and managing and coping and I don’t imagine it ever not being like this? Being a child is the best part of life and it’s all gone and now you know what everything is really like, no more being sheltered and being innocent and it’s so fucked and I wish I didn’t feel like this but I know most people probably feel like this deep down but keep going and pretending everything is okay because that’s what society expects right?