Any one up? Handhold needed

[FreedomBird]

I’m feeling down and suicidal (just feelings, I know I won’t act).

No one irl to phone or talk to.

Just need to feel I’m not alone.

Thanks x

Thank you all. I feel so much less sad just not being alone.

I am now situated into the sofa with a tea and a biscuit and a blanket.

I’m trying not to stress about tiredness tomorrow because I can rest as much as I need to tomorrow.

I’m not feeling well and I’m anxious about childcare arrangements between my ex and I. This is what has caused the slump.

Your doing all the right things, no stressful situation lasts forever and these horrible feelings will pass. Lots of very unmumsnetty love to you. Hold tight and enjoy your cuppa and a biscuit

You will feel so much better when rested.
I find that the fear/worry about tiredness is usually worse than the reality. It’s brilliant that you can get rest tomorrow.

Do you want to hurt yourself?

Can you get some selotape / plaster and put it on your skin and peel it off....

Or rub an ice cube over your wrist....

Cross stitch sounds a great way to relax, I go through nights of head being in a complete whirl, like a washing machine on fast spin, I wish us humans were equipped with an off switch, once those thoughts start rushing in and falling over each other it’s so hard to stop them
,

Sofa with tea and biscuit sounds good Are you tired at all?

I won’t rule out Bipolar. Maybe I’ll research to some more.
I am on Sertraline and have been for 2 years. Some times I feel I can come off it and other I can’t do without it.

I am a little sleepy but not enough to sleep yet.

What are you watching?

Could you draw anything? I am rubbish at anything artistic but it can be calming anyway!

Some times I feel I can come off it and other I can’t do without it

Well please don't just come off it suddenly and check with your GP first!
Do you want to tell us a bit more about what caused this at all?, fine if you don't but if you think it might help?

HI,, do you know of any particular reasons why you are feeling this way. Like family problems, money problems,or other things that seem not right in your life? Drinking too much will only stop you worrying for a short while.and then you may become addicted,and then it will become a vicious circle,and you will not feel better.

I have bipolar but I also have Borderline traits. If you say you don't have highs, then it's more like Borderline. It's unfortunately a stigmatized condition/traits, but basically it's due to trauma of some kind, and a lot of people believe it's basically CPTSD. For me the trauma was 'just' rejection, both socially from a very young age (autistic traits ) and romantically. So it doesn't even need to be childhood abuse, but that is the classic/cliched cause. Please find a therapist (I've found EMDR helpful) and see your GP/consultant. If you're already on medication, please go back so they can up your dose or try something new. There are loads of things they can try. Feel better soon- hugs xxx

No but I like colouring so I may try that.

I’m watching The End if the F*ing World. It’s a dark comedy so it’s a good distraction. I’m going to try and sleep again soon.

I'm up, thinking good thoughts for you, been there before. I'm currently watching reruns of ER to offset a panic attack.

What age are you OP? I had serious suicidal thoughts through a period of my life when I should have been free with the world at my door. I even went a step to get the way to the deed and then an outside of me, incident happened and gave me a wake-up call. You should think of yourself first, but if everything you say to yourself is negative you are on a self made roundabout. The minute you take charge of your thoughts and even to begin with revaluing yourself (i.e. you say to yourself I am a crap waste of space, but even if I am determined to leave this world, I will help someone, one person, one creature before I go) if you can move your mindset to at least that, you will be surprised how and where it may lift you. If you have nothing to lose, then conversely you have everything to gain.

Thank you all. There are many facets to why I feel the way I do. The main thing is that I have shared custody of my children and I am just don’t get to see them enough.

I also feel like a completely shit mum because when they’re with me I am exhausted. I Have little patience and my kids are so full on. So I don’t feel they get the best of me.

I feel like I’ve fucked up my entire life by leaving my emotionally neglectful ex husband 18 months ago.
Nothing is as it was. I’ve lost friends, lots of friends.

I’m in a new relationship which is lovely. But I try not to allow the extent of my difficulties to impact our relationship.

I’ve seen that, it’s fairly good anything distracting!

I’m early 30s.

I’d say leaving a neglectful husband is a great step forward Children are resilient, & most parents are exhausted! That’s not to minimise how much is going on for you at the moment, but you will get through it and your children will be just fine. How old are they?

you just got mixed up with the wrong bloke, don't beat yourself up about it, it's very very hard. No matter what happens, imagine your little kids without their mam. It is the cruelest childhood event that could happen. You have to live for them. Do you feel like you still love him? A real friend doesn't just lose you either; consider your life is going through a cleansing period for a fresh, bright start that you just can't envision yet.

OP, try not to think of it as you 'were' doing well and now you've relapsed. Every person who has mental health issues has dips - it's a dip and it doesn't mean that overall you're not still doing well. I know that when I get a dip I feel like I'm straight back to that bad, scary place, but that kind of thought is self perpetuating and makes things worse. Hormones have a lot to answer for too. I hope that in a few days you'll be feeling much better. In the meantime - self care. Distraction. Exercise is about the best thing you could do, especially outside and during daylight hours.

I know you have said you aren't going to act on your suicidal thoughts but I just wanted to add, please stay. Your kids need you more than anything else in this life.

Sending lots of strength and positive thoughts OP!!! I feel your pain, my anxiety is through the roof too so can't sleep!!

Lots of deep breathing! I'm listening to Chris and Rosie Ramsey's podcast which is taking the edge off!! You're so strong, and you definitely have the upper hand, you know your triggers, you know you're struggling and you're reading out for help!! You got this ♥️

Cross-stitch sounds good. I've problems with reading too, but from the time when I was really depressed, I remember making lists of " good" things to do; things which made me feel better or were little treats and sewing tasks were usually on the list, even the been-meaning-to's like changing the buttons on a plain dress for something more interesting, or altering a long scarf with scattered stitches, or cross-stitch on a few special cards for Christmas/birthdays, etc. Doesn't sound very ambitious, but they can all lift the mood and provide a break from the misery.

        Good idea to get a few ideas from Mumsnet, and could also be an idea to have a word with GP.

          Hope you soon feel better <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Flowers" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/flowers-Cn99NuJ3.png">

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.

You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

OP, we're going to move your thread to the Mental Health topic now and we hope you get some useful advice and support there.