Anyone done lots if therapy & medication but still struggling mood/anxiety

[granadagirl]

Suffered yrs & yrs with depression & anxiety.

Do you find after having therapy or group therapy you feel bit better for a few days maybe weeks then you get a hit and your back down there again
Ruminating over your thoughts?
Feeling of dread

Today I woke up and still tired, I fell back to sleep again for about 45 mins to be Woken by partner with a coffee (which he does everyday)
For some reason I just knew I felt flat/numb, it felt like he was Talking loud and being all jokey. Complete opposite to me
I lay there listening to meditation, later dp talking to me about stupid random things.
Really not in the mood to listen to shit talk and could feel anxiety creeping in.
It’s like the way it affects me is
I get a feeling of my mood,
I then get thought of how I’m feeling mentally automatically and it brings me full of dread
I feel I am trying to enjoy life, rather than it coming naturally. I feel like I’m never really happy, don’t think I’d show it even if I won the lottery
I’ve always been reserved when I think back, even as a young child.
Being Off a large family I’m the reserved one
And haven’t really liked being social or social events

Lots and lots of people! Mental health treatment is too standardised and doesn't look at the individual.

I've had every diagnosis going, and eventually was diagnosed with autism. I'm still depressed and chronically anxious, but I don't feel nearly as obliged to try to conform and fit in anymore, which in turn means my brain isn't working quite so hard.

Yes, I have had CBT and tried lots of medication/self help etc but the effects were minimal or didn't last. I went back to the doctors about 6 months ago in one last desperate attempt to get help, she suggested Amitriptyline (I had asked for it years ago only to be given a resounding no followed by a prescription for an SSRI that made me suicidal) The Amitriptyline has been an utter life changer, I am no longer always on edge, my thoughts are no longer foreboding, intrusive and constant. I no longer panic about day to day activities, I am happy and able to think in a less catastrophising way and when one of those thoughts does pop into my head I am able to dismiss it in a way I just wasn't capable of before, I no longer feel like a victim of my own mind!

I have tried a lot of medications and had given up hope of ever finding something that could help me.

This is me. Just posted a thread called ‘so fucked off with anxiety’

I’ve struggled with it all my life. But despite this lve always been really confident and outgoing. I still am, but find now that l feel low and anxious a lot of the time. The anxiety just attaches itself to anything.

But, l was always full of joie de vivre. But now I’m not. Totally pissed off with it all.

I recently had something called a EDMR (which l paid for) one session if that seemed to do more than years off pills and crap cbt which made no difference. I think mine is menopause related though.

I look at photos of me from my twenties and l was always laughing. And now it’s gone😔

Yes. Spent YEARS in therapy. Utter shit that does NOT work for me.

I'm far happier just accepting my life as it is, instead of every fucker wondering why I don't "conform"

Muff
I say to myself
“you are what you are”
But I sometimes think I say that because I don’t like the way I feel or think and probably in anger when I’m pissed off feeling on edge with chronic Anxiety

Stealth
You sound like you’ve turned a massive corner😀

Just seeing family and a bit of shopping is a massive effort that leaves me exhausted most days.
Appointments are something else!
Dentist, gp, hairdressers nightmare

I have turned a huge corner! I don't even feel like the same person. The anxiety was getting to the point that I considered getting myself sectioned, I honestly thought I was having a breakdown, it was horrendous. I just never seemed to be able to switch off, my thought were a constant battering of what ifs, worse case scenarios and at times mental images of horrific things happening to my family would just pop into my head from nowhere, I felt as though I was under attack.

I considered starting a thread to recommend Amitriptyline to anyone who struggled with being constantly anxious but worried that I may of been giving false hope? Amitriptyline is used a a sleeping pill and to me has the same effect (but without the drugged up feeling) as diazepam. I don't see it mentioned often, should I start a thread to share my experience of it?

Does therapy work for anyone l wonder? I’ve had 3 rounds of CBT. Made no difference. I know several people who say the same.

I’ve had ‘counselling’. That makes it worse. Just sitting there ruminating on it.

I’ve tried mindfulness. So very very boring, and who has got time to devote an hour a day to it?

So l have to ask, has anyone found a therapy that has done something?

Stealth- I’m on amitryptiline. At 125mg l felt really happy. But it made me eat and eat and eat. And also made me really bad tempered. I’ve tried them all, and settled in 100mg of ami. I probably need a higher dose but l won’t take it. It never seemed to do much for anxiety though

Actually I should sum up the difference it has made to me, I struggled to leave the house, getting my son to nursery was a huge exhausting endeavour for me that left me drained and depressed, I would often have a panic attack walking home and found just walking past people made me feel as though I couldn't breath.
A few months after I started taking Amitriptyline I was invited to fundraiser for my sons nursery by a lady that works there, I only really spoke to one other Mum and she wouldn't be going. I went, I was sat alone like Billy no mates and so someone invited me to sit with them, I made chit chat but it was painfully awkward because they were clearly longstanding friends, another woman and her husband joined the table and after she found out I had come alone she did the whole "you're so brave" it was awkward and patronising, I still stayed, I drank my wine and got chatting to another Mum, then the lady who invited me insisted we all dance, before I know it I am with a group of people dancing like an idiot and having a great time, I walk home with this group and have a laugh and a good chat.

I couldn't of even imagined doing that 6 months ago.

@TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince sorry your experience hasn't been as good as mine. It's another reason I haven't mentioned it previously, I don't want to rub my good fortune in anyone's face if it hasn't had the same effect for them.

I’ve had 3 lots of cbt, psychology, hypnotherapy, CAT, Edmr, counselling, plus loads more over the 35yrs
I eventually start to feel able to cope, not anxiety free and wam it’s back mths/year later
It’s like everything, wether that be
Therapy, meds, what works for one
May not work for another unfortunately. If only😀 there was one med or one therapy that got us
“ normal” well able to do things without symptoms off anxiety/depression

I literally had set backs, one two days manageable then bam 💥 back I go full on dread and a recluse because I find it so so hard to interact.

Emojis
How do you manage to be confident and outgoing but have anxiety?
I’ve had periods of confidence and NO anxiety

but I’ve always really been reserved deep down.

I wish l knew😕when people meet me, they think I’m outgoing and confident, l come across as a coper And l am with people. I don’t have any social anxiety,

But l still have it. And depression. And it ruins my life. I’m scared of everything.

I think l have what is termed as ‘smiling deptession’ l look fine, act fine, but it’s all going off underneath. High functioning depression is another name l think.

www.headspace.com/blog/2017/04/08/high-functioning-anxiety/

It’s explained here

woke today out of the blue with chest sensation, then my stomach going and then for some reason it’s always the same thoughts that come automatically
“What can I do today, but yet with a feeling of dread not wanting to do anything”
It’s the same pattern every time on waking following a bad mood/anxiety day/days
It’s like the symptoms have a pattern on wake up, followed by exactly the same thoughts.
I never, well hardly ever wake up happy grateful that I have a nice house, food in my belly(if I can eat that is) no major money problems
And yet I go around like I’ve got the world on my shoulders
It’s like happiness left me In my 20’s
Everyday is a battle, to keep my mood stable and anxiety low

They say keep a routine, but some days routine gets me down, yet there’s this feeling I get that holds me back everyday from just doing things. Like I shouldn’t enjoy, be relaxed, not being jealous/critical or judgemental of people.

I’m just waffling now, and probably sounds like I’m a raving lunatic. Automatic thoughts seem to run me down, take control and act on my mood and anxiety
No therapy or meds have taken that away permanently, it’s become a massive habit that’s ruining my life
Sorry for the negative post, just wanted to see if I could get my thoughts down and someone recognise them

I completely identify with that. My happiness ended at my twenties, although did resurface in late 30’s early 40’s.

But since about 45 it’s been downhill from there

Wow that headspace explains me
perfectionistic And control
My lifestyle is controlled, if something comes up out of the blue it makes me more anxious and full of dread. Yet when I’ve done it, it doesn’t seem half as bad as I perceived. Hair, clothes, cleaning, gardening hard to accept not just right. Yet i wouldn’t say I’m ocd where I keep going back to things
I think I’ve made myself socially anxious because it’s been yrs and yrs of anxiety symptoms/thoughts that’s lead me not to be relaxed in situations around people.
I hate the feeling of being trapped and can’t go without explaining myself which I think draws attention on me and I hate attention. I’ve never liked complements, just shrug them off. I been diagnosed with GAD
Menopause and post menopause as heightened anxiety with hormone depletion Without a doubt.

I hate that my life is so rigid. But it makes me feel safer. Bed at an exact time. Up at an exact time etc etc.