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Anxiety third time round

17 replies

Shinyshoe73 · 09/11/2019 15:48

Today 15:27 Shinyshoe73

After having my first son four years ago I suffered badly with post natal anxiety - I got so worked up about sleep that I stopped sleeping which started a vicious cycle on no sleep and anxiety. I was put on fluoxetine which really helped. I came Off fluoxetine and then had the same anxiety problem eight months later. This time I was put on sertraline which again eventually helped alongside CBT.

I came off the sertraline in February and had been fine until a couple of weeks ago when the worry about sleep started to creep in which led to another bout of severe anxiety. I’ve been back and forth to the doctors. I started off on Mirtazapine but it made me extremely low in mood and I also wanted something unlinked to sleep as I know that I have no problem sleeping, it’s the anxiety and worrying about it that causes the issue! I’m now on fluoxetine (day 2) bit gave convinced myself that I’m a lost cause and will never be able to stop this horrible horrible anxiety and dread over bedtime which is making me miserable. I’ve convinced myself that I have untreatable anxiety and that I’ll never be able to look forward to anything or be happy again. Has anyone felt the same?!

OP posts:
Claire926 · 09/11/2019 17:25

I have had anxiety start again but I found it is all to do with breathing techniques. I have practiced every day this week and am starting to feel a lot more normal as the breathing slows down the vagus nerve into relaxation.

Kelshanicole · 12/08/2022 09:27

Shiny shoe.. are you still active on here! Cannot believe what I’m reading it’s literally like we have the same minds! Please can we talk.. I really hope you’re doing okay now as it’s hellish

Snowshower · 12/08/2022 12:11

This also really closely describes what I have been through. Started off post natal. Have had maybe 6 really bad episodes in the last 9 years.

Been on different doses of sertraline, fluoxetine.

Even though I am struggling with it again just now, I am aware that I will come out the other side and be well again. It is hard to accept this is not something I can "cure" but I am beginning to realise it is definitely "treatable" and over the years I have become better at managing it.

I have recently relapsed but after a much much longer spell of wellness, during which time I think I can spot a few times when I was definitely wobbling but managed to hang on.

I am still learning, but overall the bad spells have become more spaced out and less severe.

@Shinyshoe73 it is hard to do but it really helped me when I was able to let go of some of the fear of having a relapse. Because that fear was fuelling a visious cycle of anxiety.

I try and think of the bit in Labyrinth when the girl realises "You have no power over me".

@Kelshanicole would be interested to hear how you are getting on / what helps you etc.

Kelshanicole · 12/08/2022 12:24

@Snowshower hey I hope you’re well!

I had a random bout of severe insomnia back in 2016 , it was around the same time I had a chemical pregnancy but at the time I didn’t relate it to hormones or anything.. ever since I had trouble with sleep around the time of monthly cycle each month. The scary bout I had out of nowhere triggered me to develop sleep anxiety but it would only be before events, if I had something important to get up for in the morning I would worry about getting sleep and in turn not get any! This resulted in me only being able to commit to evening jobs and not making early plans which although was frustrating it eased my anxieties around sleep and I didn’t have problems with it. However when I was in my third trimester around 32 weeks pregnant I all of a sudden had a thought of omg what if when I have my baby I can’t sleep and end up being an awful sleep deprived mum.. this in turn started off the insomnia straight away and I’m now 6 weeks post partum and no improvements! I’m constantly obsessing over sleep all day every day and absolutely dread going to bed as I can go days in a row with literally an hour or 2 a night it’s awful 😞 although the rational part of my brain tells me all I need to do is stop worrying I just can’t seem to do so it’s like pregnancy has given me OCD about my deep rooted anxieties … I find it really strange how original poster also had the same thought pattern during a hormonal point in her life. And now you also 🤔

you say you’ve been here before and got through it , but you’re now going through it again? How did you recover the first time and what was your experience? I guess where you have been in the same position before and beaten it you can reassure yourself that although it’s awful it’s only temporary and if you’ve beaten it before you can do so again 💪 would really love to hear what you went through and how you overcame it the first time around as any hope right now would help me massively.. it’s honestly driving me to the point of suicidal thoughts and is completely ruining my quality of life right when I should be enjoying it the most with my baby whom I have waited for years for! I wish I was able to offer you some advice but I haven’t any , ive been resistant about trying meds and have so far been just getting by day by day at the minute hoping it will correct itself once my hormones level out but unsure if that will happen, how did medication help you? Sorry for long post ❤️

Kelshanicole · 12/08/2022 14:18

@Snowshower Would you mind sharing how you got through your previous episodes and how long did they last? I’ve been like this now for 4 months it’s draining and really hoping and praying I can come out the other side .. I’ve desperately been seeking people out there who have gone through the same thought process and battle and would be so encouraged to know how you got through it ❤️

Snowshower · 12/08/2022 14:29

I think it was a whole combination of things that got me through it. I was very fixated on not being able to sleep. I was given a course of sleeping tablets and would take one and then do a relaxation exercise cd in bed. Trying to think of the positives so if I kept waking in the night I would remind myself that this meant I had managed to fall asleep etc. Also reminding myself that it was not the end of the world if I didn't get a good night's sleep. Yes I would feel rubbish, but I was feeling rubbish anyway, so that kind of took the pressure off.

I made lots of plans so that I was getting out the house once every day. Preferably meeting people or doing something where you had to concentrate as this stopped me constantly worrying round and round in my own head. Even just phoning someone for a chat. I called lots of people I hadn't talked to for ages and Spewed out how I was feeling.

Eating was also a big trigger for me. The anxiety made me vomit and I would struggle to keep food down until well into the afternoon / evening. Over time I found things that I could stomach slightly better like yogurt so I made sure I at least ate a yogurt by say 2pm and then I could have a small meal at tea time and another small meal later in the evening so could reassure myself was eating a reasonable amount of food to keep me physically healthy and be able to feed my son.

Getting back to doing things for ME helped too. I got someone to look after the baby twice a week for an hour so I could go back to a sports group I used to take part in. The exercise helped as did talking to different people and distracting my brain.

I also was not keen to go on meds, but did I the end. I am not sure how much effect they had. I like to believe they made no difference and I just got myself through it, but they probably did make a difference. At the very least taking them made me feel I was being proactive and doing all I could to get better and I hung on to the fact that although they take a few weeks to kick in, every day that was getting one step closer. They

During most relapses I have either increased dose or changed meds, although a few years ago I just stayed on the same and did gradually get better.

As the days passed I began to notice I was getting a little bit more sleep and feeling a little less anxious. There was usually a point in the day where I felt back to "normal" and this gradually became earlier in the day. My physical symptoms like vomiting began to gradually decrease too. Once I could see a gradual pattern of improvement this had a sort of snowball effect as I began to believe I was starting to get better although There were still bumps on the way. Finally I felt normal again all the time.

I have had several relapses but they have generally been shorter and less severe as I have been better able to deal with them. The relapses tend to come during long breaks in my work (school holidays) and getting back into the work routine and having other things to think about definitely helps a lot.

I found cbt quite helpful to counteract negative thinking, like "i am ALWAYS going to feel like this", " I'm struggling to get to sleep, it MUST be a relpase" and have a small reserve of sleeping tablets and diazapam from the doc I can take for a day or two if I spot myself wobbling.

I am trying to look on the positive that I stayed well longer this time and take proactive steps to help me for the future.

I am on a waiting list for counselling to try and deal with some underlying factors like low confidence and self esteem. I am trying to remind myself of cbt I found helpful. I am planning to reconnect with one or two old friends as I realise I have isolated myself over the last few years.

I could not have written anything so positive a few days a go, so even writing this is helping me to realise I am having a better and things are slowly in the up.

Actually, today is significantly better and I am wondering if it could be related to having an exceptionally hard session at my sports group yesterday. I have been back at the group for a few weeks but was too scared to really push myself because of my poor eating over the past few weeks and often feeling weak, light-headed etc.

I also think hormones are definitely at least partly to blame and think I could be at the beginning of peri-menopause. This relapse started like the worst PMT I have ever experienced!

I too felt suicidal/ wanted to run away from my life, even probably during the first few relapses as in the moment even though my logical brain said "you've come through this before" it was very hard to believe that or find any conform in that all.

Also, just try to be as kind to yourself as you can. I think it is very very common to feel guilt about not enjoying your new baby. I was so excited to be pregnant and to become a mum. I felt awful and hated my whole entire pregnancy, when I thought I was supposed to be "glowing" and life with a newborn was sooo hard. All around me I saw happy mums putting cute pics on Facebook living the dream.

I think in reality most people have a really tough time with a new baby, but they just hide it well. I now try to be honest about my experiences so others know they are not alone. I SURVIVED the early months of motherhood. I found things just got slightly easier as each few weeks / months passed.

Anyway, I hope that I have managed to answer a few of your questions.

Please please try and have hope. It will get better. You will get better . Your sleep will improve. Ask for and take as much help as you can get and don't feel bed about that.

Let me know how you get on.

Sending hugs.

Snowshower · 12/08/2022 15:01

@Kelshanicole

Also wanted to reassure you that for most people this is a one off thing. I have been unlucky to have recurring problems, and that is due to many factors including genetic.

Other family members have had similar experiences to me post natally and gone on to stay well long term including having more children.

Sometimes I find that this section of mumsnet is a bit of a downer as most people posting on here are currently struggling.

I know myself when I am having a long period of staying well I don't come on this part, just browse AIBU.

Hopefully @Shinyshoe73 is living her best life and put this thread and her anxiety problems behind her. And you can too.

There is even hope for me, while I am now unlikely to every really put it all behind me, I am hopefully I can continue to learn how to better manage my anxiety and depression as I go through life.

Snowshower · 14/08/2022 19:02

Sorry @Kelshanicole I missed one of your questions. My first episode was the longest and I am not sure how long it really lasted, it just gradually faded. I think i was on the antidepressants for about 8 months so I must have been well for a couple of months before stopping them so maybe 6 months? During those 6 months I was seeing improvements though as my symptoms became less over the weeks and months.

Other episodes I have had have been shorter but again hard to judge as I think I feel well again and then a few weeks later realise that I wasn't and I have improved since.

I totally get your reluctance to go on meds, I sometimes wish I had tried longer to get through it without them. Looking back I was struggling a bit after the birth, but it was only when baby was about 4 months old that the full brunt of the symptoms hit me very suddenly almost overnight and I was desperate to try anything.

Your baby is still very young though, so maybe you have a good chance of getting through it without, like you say as hormones continue to settle. Maybe a GP or health visitor etc could give you more information on that.

Shinyshoe73 · 14/08/2022 20:46

Hi sorry I missed this as I haven’t been on for a very long time! @Kelshanicole You will 1000% get through this and return to normal. When I was at my worst I always thought I’d be stuck like that and send myself into a spiral of anxiety. It will get better, little by little, it just takes time. There wasn’t one thing that helped me in particular but taking an antidepressant really did - it won’t feel like it a working but it will after a while. Remember that a lack of sleep never killed anyone and your body will eventually force you to sleep. Have a read of the sleep book by Guy meadows. I remember going into my doctors crying about not being able to sleep and ge told me the worst that would happen is I’d have giant bags under my eyes - it’s the worry that’s worse. Xxx

OP posts:
Kelshanicole · 15/08/2022 09:20

@Snowshower Hi, thank you so much for taking the time out to reply to me and offer reassurance although it’s awful for anyone to go through it’s comforting to know others have been through the same and came through it. What medication did you take? You say you was very fixated on not being able to sleep, was it to the point of obsession? Xx

@Shinyshoe73 The problem I’m having is that I know it’s just the worrying and anxiety over not sleeping that is keeping me up and although the rational part of my brain thinks logically and tells myself to just stop worrying about it I just can’t seem to stop. I’ve always had anxiety but this feels obsessive (I know pregnancy hormones can cause OCD) I’ve read the book by guy meadows and it’s an amazing book but for some reason my mind just won’t let me switch my mentality to that way of thinking , I have seen your other posts and see you had the very same struggle as me , how did you just change your thought process? I’m in a constant daily battle with myself and just can’t shut the worries up 😞 they are so constant it literally leaves me with a headache. Xx

Kelshanicole · 15/08/2022 14:04

@Shinyshoe73 i see you went in mirtazapine, that’s what I’ve been prescribed which I’ve just started on yesterday. I know meds are different for everyone but what was your experience with it? Did it help? X

jeffersonsam · 17/08/2022 12:41

Many of them of are suffering from anxiety problem due to so many reasons, but this anxiety is overcome by several ways. Few of them are using tablets, few of them are following natural remedies and few of them are following spiritual ways.

All these ways are giving good results, but medicine treatments will makes some side effects, so please seek doctor advices, before going to take self medication for anxiety.

Kelshanicole · 17/08/2022 13:41

@jeffersonsam hi

i would ideally like to overcome this anxiety without using medication so if you have any advice on how to do so spiritually/naturally then I’d be keen to hear what you have to say 😊

jeffersonsam · 19/08/2022 12:26

Kelshanicole · 17/08/2022 13:41

@jeffersonsam hi

i would ideally like to overcome this anxiety without using medication so if you have any advice on how to do so spiritually/naturally then I’d be keen to hear what you have to say 😊

I want to share some of the natural methods

  1. Drinking plenty of water
  2. Do simple workouts regularly
  3. Avoid to take junk food items
  4. Better to avoid using smart devices more hours, especially in the night time
  5. Try to play some outdoor games in the evening times
  6. Feel free to talk with each other.
  7. Do early morning breathing exercises
  8. Read some devotion books - Spiritual books.
I hope, these will surely helps to reduce your anxiety.
notlongtoo · 19/08/2022 16:41

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Kelsha · 17/03/2023 07:43

@Snowshower how are you doing? I hope you’re in a good place now ..

Snowshower · 19/03/2023 18:25

Hi @Kelsha

Thanks for checking in. I am good just now thanks. Hope you and your baby are doing well too, or if things are difficult that you are getting lots of support and help. X

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