I've made an absolute fool of myself to dh

[jnbsmum]

Hello. Sorry i'm just wanting to rant at the moment cause the truth is i'm feeling pretty crap.
Yesterday was the fourth aniversary of my dads death. He died of cancer just 6 weeks before my ds was born. I was in hospital at the time in false labour. Also a week ago i had a miscariage. I'm quite over weight and i don't feel too good about myself at the moment.(Sorry to rant on but thats the background basicaly)

Basicaly last night i sat and drank 2 bottles of wine rather quickly and polished them of with a rather large glass of baileys. Then i decided that i was going to try and do some reverse phsycology on my husband and sat and had several cigarettes. (I stopped smoking 5 years ago And since my dad died i have wanted dh to stop. I don't nag him about it but he knows that it's something that i want). He then told me he didn't want me to do it so he stormed off to bed. I followed him in my drunk stuper and ask him what his problem was. He didn't answere cause he really doesn't like arguing so he told me just to sleep it off.
This morning when he got up he came and cuddled me and told me he was sorry for how he treated me but he didn't want me to start smoking again. He had to go strait to work so now i'm feeling really stupid and guilty and it's making me feel worse. Sorry to go on but i just really needed to get it off my chest. Thanks for reading this far if you have jnbxx

your dh loves you a and has made up so go along with it - be kind to youerself you have been tho alot see last night as a one off stress releaser and forgive yourself sorry have to go but could not leave without replying take care

sweetie, it is your hangover making you feel so bad! getting drunk and having a few cigarettes and then having a bit of a row with your dh - well it's not exactly optimal behaviour but it's not utterly awful either and it sounds like dh has forgiven you.

no wonder you are feeling miserable at the moment with all that's happened.

i do suggest when your dh comes back tonight the two of you discuss more constructive ways to address how you are feeling.

it's not the end of the world.

Your right sq it probably is my hangover making me feel worse. The truth is though i have been with dh for 7 yrs and have never embarresed myself like that. I actually acted quite pathetic in front of him and i dont understand why. A part of me wanted some attention from him and another part was trying to tell him how crap i'm feeling. I've always been a listener and i'm good at other peoples problems. I'm just not good at asking for help myself. Especially after going to the docs and crying in front of him only for him to tell me That i sould come back in a couple of weeks if i still feel bad.

jnbsmum (((((hugs))))) to you. When the anniversary of my Mum's death comes around, I am a complete nightmare. All the pain of what she did (suicide) etc comes flooding back and drowns me and my dh is always in the firing line.

You've gone through A LOT. Try not to feel guilty, try to be kind to yourself and your sore head. The alcohol will be making you feel very down today - drink mountains of water to rehydrate yourself.

SQ's right! You have drinker's remorse syndrome - hangovers (as I once found out for a feature) do make you paranoid - it's a particular part of the brain involved. It's science, honest! So at least 50-70% of your horror and shame and feeling of letting others down is due to the withdrawal effect of all that booze. It's not like you took your clothes off and got arrested in the middle of Oxford Street, is it? He sounds a lovely husband and very understanding, and you've been through a lot. You'll feel much better tomorrow. Have an early night and sleep it all off.

Yep, I once went out with a psychiatrist who told me it's called post alcoholic anxiety syndrome, agree with the others that'll be what you're feeling! Dunno if giving it a name will make it feel any better though! What you did doesn't sound that awful to me either. Sorry to hear about your dad - my dad died 3 years ago (cancer too) and I do know how hard it is - missing someone is very painful. DON'T start smoking again though, that really will make you feel bad! Your dh sounds sympathetic so give him a hug when he comes in and stop feeling guilty.

I thought it must have a proper name www!

Hi jnb. Hope you are feeling a little better this evening, and have had a chance to sort out things with dh (he sounds really lovely, BTW). No-one is going to blame you for losing it a little, considering all that is going on for you just now. Perhaps you needed an outlet for the pressure you are under - who knows. Whatever the reason, put it behind you - you are only human, just like the rest of us, and we have all done the same at one time or the other!!

aww jnbsmum, please don't feel bad. Anniversary's are very painful and the m/c was only a week ago, your hormones will be all over the place. I was terrible after my m/c's. Pamper yourself, give your lovely DH a hug and try and get an early night, things will hopefully seem a litte better in the morning/ (((hugs)))

jnbsmum - most of us can do a lot worse than that with no excuse. You're allowed to be a wee bit naughty when life throws you too many bloomers at once. Good to see that your dh obviously loves you very much. Look after yourself. xxxx

hi jnbsmum, I think everyone needs to be needy now and again. Your dh picked up your signals and he was there for you. He may even have liked the fact that you needed him - it sounds as if you don't often show weakness like this. Lean on him. Next time you may not need to wreck yourself in order to show him you need extra support. He has shown you that he is very much there for you.