I recently split from a partner of 18 months. He cheated on me, and lied and about it, but he wants us to try again.
I feel like I am going mad. I have a history of depression, eating disorders and self harm, and all of that had been so much better for the last 10+ years. This has just taken me right back to a very dark time. I've had some awful thoughts. I don't want to feel like this any more. My eldest child has ASD and often says "kill me", and recently I've been thinking how much easier life would be for us all if none of us had to feel like this any more. I wouldn't harm him, I absolutely wouldn't, but it's so hard to hear him saying stuff like that when I feel this wobbly about everything.
I am scared that if I tell the GP, they will take my kids away. But I can't not do anything, because I can't continue like this.
I feel like a zombie. The kids are with their dad half of the time (we split up a few years ago) and part of me wants to say they can just live with him. They would be happier there.