How to open up about trauma

[whoviangirl88]

Hi, I am a regular poster who has named changed.

I was diagnosed with a dissociative disorder almost two years ago. I have been seeing a private therapist for 14 months who is excellent but, I am really struggling to deal with the trauma that caused the disorder in the first place.

I was neglected by my mother and experience regularly repeated abuse from the stepfather. I know it happened but when I start to open up I really struggle. I have really blocked it and buried it deep down. The problem is it's really getting in the way of my day to day life. I don't sleep properly, I don't well and I struggle to maintain the housework.

I am struggling with feelings around being worthless. I spend a lot of time in therapy deflect from myself. Which isnt going to work any longer as she has called me out on it.

My trauma and the disorder is such a barrier in my life I need to deal with it to get well.

Anyone?

Sounds like you feel you should be talking about the trauma, but you don’t feel able to at the moment? Is it that you don’t quite trust or feel safe with your therapist right now?

Discuss with you therapist - trauma work is usually planned and prepared for with techniques for coping etc taught first.
My therapist then said , when I was eventually ready and was in a spell off work, ' no more avoiding'
I think you have to feel ready