Depression

[Shelby321]

Hi, I’m really struggling at the moment. I’m a single mum to a 6 year old girl. She is my whole world. I have friends but they are understandably all busy with their own lives. Everything I do is for my daughter and when she goes to bed I get really lonely. I end up just going to bed at 7pm as don’t like being downstairs by myself. I have so much to do but no motivation to do anything.
I’m sad and cry everyday. I split up with my boyfriend 5 months ago and I’m scared I’ll always be on my own. I’ve tried talking to my mum but she just tells me to pull myself together, which is not exactly helpful.
Sorry for the long post.

Hi OP, I didn't want to read and run. Not sure if i can be of much help. You do sound sad and lonely. How old are you? Do you have friends? Fo you work. Apologies for all the questions. You don't have to answer them. Just trying to get a better picture of your situation. Hope others come along soon to chat.

It's not a long post at all, Shelby321. I'm sorry that you are feeling like this. Do you have any hobbies or interests that can distract you when you are feeling at your lowest? Do you think it might help to talk to your GP if your low mood is affecting your energy levels?

Excuse the typos. Meant to ask, do you work?

I’m 42. I work full time but work from home so not around other people much. My daughter is with me most of the time, sees her dad every other sat/sun. I don’t really have any hobbies.
Exercise helps me but can’t leave the house and bored of exercise dvds.
Think I really just want someone to snuggle up with on a cold evening. Staying in on your own is so different to staying in with someone. Feeling like life will never change. Already dreading Christmas and in particular New Years.

I'm 10 years older than you, OP, and i have 7 and 9 year old daughters. I kind of the get the solitude you speak of: when i was home all day with my young children, i craved adult company. My DH worked away doing shift work, so often i didn't have anyone to chat to about my day. I appreciate my situation is different to yours: i have someone to share the parenting load, and to be honest, once the children are in bed, i covet those quiet evenings doing my own thing. You say you daughter is 6? 6 years old is a great age for children. I find myself doing a lot more fun activities with my children than i did when they were younger. When they were little, it was too much hassle and effort to pack everything and go out for the day. Is there a reason you don't go out often OP?

Sorry you are feeling like this it's horrible being lonely. If you are crying everyday and struggling to get everyday things done then I would suggest going to the doctors and telling a friend you trust how you feel. I know you say they are busy with their own lives but I'm sure they would hate to know you are feeling like this and have no one to talk to about it, they will be happy to help you. Good luck

Shelby there is a lone parenting section on this forum. Have you popped in there to have a read? My sister, who is 5 years younger than me, is a lone parent. When her abusive, alcoholic, substance-abusing ex left, she bought up her 2 girls alone. Her children are in their late teens now, and she recently spoke to me about her fear of being lonely in her middle and late years. She would dearly like someoneone to share her life, but she feels her best years are past her, having put all her energy, time and resourses to raising her children. To be honest, i don't really understand it. It's this fear that has contributed to her making poor choices in the past when it comes to men. She is dating at the moment, but in lots of ways, is still very vulnerable. I do worry about her, though, and try and keep in touch regularly.

Sorry, i'm not very helpful. Posters on the lone parent threads may be more helpful. The dating threads are useful to (for avoiding the pitfalls). My sister reads them avidly. You might get a good laugh out of them, if nothing else. For you 💐

I know what you mean OP. I was in your situation years ago. I relied heavily on friends as my family lived away. I live in a busy seaside town and I used to walk with the children just to be around other people. I found if I got out in the day the evenings were not too bad.
I became a master of finding cheap/free places to go.
I used to think I was the only person alone on New Year's Eve but believe me I have had worse New Years while I have been in a couple. I met my partner in my 40s and had a third child so it's never too late.
Can your mum babysit maybe one night a week to allow you to go out or visit friends or join a class. Could you look for work out of the home which might be less lonely.
Good luck.OP. Do see your doctor if you feel really low x

Hi op
I was in a similar situation a few weeks ago . My dp works away from home so I'm alone in the evenings and just couldn't wait to go to bed every day. I had No motivation to do anything and was struggling to leave the house.
I went to my gp 2 weeks ago and started on an anti depressant. There has been a huge difference in my mood. I'm calmer, less stressed, not sad any more, have much more motivation. I wish I had done it sooner.

Thank you for your replies. I’ll check out the lone parent page

Good luck OP. I hope things improve for you soon.