Hi there, I have 4 children ranging in ages from 17yrs to 15months and am a SAHM. My youngest child was unplanned. It was a huge shock to give birth at an advanced age with a huge age gap. The baby thankfully started sleeping through the night at the beginning of Sept. I have felt particularly wobbly mentally since she was born but am not one to dwell and joined a running group in the spring, was already a member of a choir, did voluntary work etc. all things to stave off feelings of depression.(I have since given all these things up) I have a nice kind husband who is a workaholic by his own admission and an elderly father 30 miles away who had a fall last month and now housebound. Admitting that I feel down is difficult for me but I went to the doctor in Aug and she asked me to come back in Sept if I was still feeling down which I was, so she prescribed me some Sertaline. I have only started taking it this last two weeks. First week I felt a bit sick and off my food and very tired but expected side effects. Stupidly, I had a lot of wine to drink on Sun evening. Ever since then I have continued to take the Sertaline but feel desperately low. A new low in fact. I am on the verge of tears all the time, suicidal. Hearing James Blunt singing on the radio this morning brought tears to my eyes! I feel overwhelmed and I feel like I am useless at everything. My confidence has gone and I feel my family would be better off without me. I have some mommy friends in the town where I live which is different from the town where I grow up. Recently I have felt its only me making an effort. I usually invite my friends over for lunch whilst my baby is asleep. I haven't contacted these 4 moms over the last month and not one of them has contacted me. This has just increased my feelings of low self worth. I just wanted to write this down. I wonder if these tablets will work or should I go back to the doctor and try something else? My dad has just been on the phone giving me his shopping order for tonight. I am lucky another sibling chips in with him, but have another 4 that live very close to him who don't really bother. Feel put upon and so down.