whoops

[beansmum]

just wrote a huge post about all the things i wanted to get off my chest but, stupid me, forgot to type a subject. wasn't very interesting anyway

what about leaving it a year until ds is a year older?

im just so useless lol

I have to be honest and say that I dont know how uni courses work. But, in my heart I feel that 16wks is very early, and you may not be ready emotionally to leave bean. I know that may not be very helpful, but if you do not return this year, will you not be allowed to finish the course?

when he is a year older I dont think you will be feeling so bad about leaving him.

bm - Oooooh, I can see why you are upset, BUT you will be fine and so will 'bean'. You are doing this FOR him and it won't be easy, but really, you will make friends and I'm sure wil have lots of support. As for 'bean', speaking as a nursery nurse, he will be fine. They will love him and care for him and at the end of his day, after he's had lots of fun, been fed and had a sleep or two he will just love nothing more being picked up by you. You are doing a good thing for him and for you It wil be hard to start with, but you will both benefit fr0om this in the end. HTH.

i suppose i could put it off for another year but then it would be even harder to leave bean. If i finish the course now i can take a few years off before getting a job to spend time with him. it's probably more important to be around when he's a bit older, he's not going to remember these couple of years.

I'm not really considering not doing it now, too many people would be disappointed.

thanks everyone for listening to me complain, sure you've better things to do on a friday night

The important thing is to do it for yourself. After all, it is you who has to put the work in. Perhaps its just last minute nerves making you feel like this. Im sure you made friends during your last course, and you will again.

beansmum - there's no better place I could be!!

beansmum - I went back to work when ds was little part time, so I know how you feel and dont think you are abnormal. How many hours will she be in the nursery?

aero - i think part of the reason i'm so upset is that they WILL love him and care for him and thats my job. i'm kind of jealous that someone else will be spending more time with him. It's 9-5 mon-fri so they'll see him more than me!

Is there any way of finishing the course part-time?

You will feel much better about this once you've actually stARTED AND HAD SOME POSITIVE FEEDBACK FROM 'BEAN''S (sorry - caps lock!!!!!!) nursery. It really is worth doing now if you can. You and wee 'bean' will benefit from this. I so realise this is hard to see now, and he is so little, but you will really want to make all the time you spend with him quality time. Ooooooh I'm trying to be helpful, though I know exactly how you'd feel leaving him, but at this age, he honestly won't lose out. What I really mean is please don't give yourself a hard time about it. You are going to do it and you are going to succeed and 'bean' will be better of for your efforts. {{{{{o}}}}}}s for how you're feeling though.

can't do it part time unless i change uni. to be honest i think i will be alright once i get into it, just really nervous. having no friends around doesn't help and i think it will be really hard to make new friends, i cant really socialise after lectures cos of bean.

It does sound like last-minute nerves to me beansmum. Im sure you and bean will both be absolutely fine once you get into it. Anyway, you wont have time to socialise after uni - you'll be on MN wont you??

might have to limit my MN intake, need to get some work done! Thanks for your support. just needed someone to listen really, i still feel crap about it all but it doesn't seem impossible, might actually enjoy it, you never know!

You go girl - you won't regret it in the end, but you might always regret not doing it if you didn't!!

There's always a way out beansmum. You only have to try it, and if it is not for you there will be other avenues open. Dont feel you have to do this because you worry that others expect you to. You will know what is right for you. Hope it all goes well. Will you let me know how you get on?

Yeah - please keep us posted bm, won't you?

I think that you are really lucky to have this chance and you are so near the end of your course. Baby bean will not even remember the next couple of years, and she will know who her mummy is. I think that you will do it and that you will be really proud when you finish.

feel a bit stupid now for making a fuss about not much. will definitely give it a try and will let you know how i get on. really big thankyous and hugs, what would i do without MN?

bm - this isn't a small worry - after all, 'bean' is the most precious thing in the world to you, as you are to him, but, this is an opportunity for you, and you're so almost there. This time next year you can look back at this and THEN worry what al the fuss was about. Good luck to you honey!

Beansmum, I've only just seen this and I haven't got too much to add, you have had some really good support and advice here and I'm so glad that you're going to go for it. You haven't been making a fuss about nothing, it's perfectly reasonable to have these worries and to need a little reassurance. Give it all you've got and be proud that you're taking such a big step.