Sad, sad and more sad pt2

[PurpleFrames]

Thank you for all the support on my last post.

I am back from a pyscology session and told to engage in more self compassion. It feels really alien to me.

I didn't tell the Dr about trying to kill my self on Friday last week. My mood had been a bit better and I'd done some social things. I think I always get down after these sessions feeling like I'll never get better....

Not sure if anyone can relate x

Yes I can relate I did a psychology group about self-compassion earlier this year & always felt more depressed after the sessions because it brought up stuff I didn't usually like to think about.

Did you find anything similar or completely different that helped you @LilyJade?

I've found that increasing my anti depressants has helped (I take 337.5mg Venlafaxine MR), also having future plans with friends.

I'm glad that worked for you @LilyJade

How are you @cakeandchampagne ?

Hi, @PurpleFrames ! I’m doing fine, thanks.
I hope you had a good weekend.
Did your doctor make any specific “self compassion” suggestions?

Thank you @cakeandchampagne

She photocopied a couple of pages on it, I'm not being awkward but I found it very academic and didn't really understand.

We can help you with your homework!
Can you type a couple of the suggestions here?

Ok @cakeandchampagne

10 obstacles to self compassion

1- self compassion is about self pity
2- self compassion is about being selfish or self centred
3- I don't deserve self compassion
4- my needs are not as important as others
5- self compassion is lazy
6- self compassion is weak
7- compassion leaves you open to threat
8- positive feelings will leave you open to a fall (back to negative mood)
9- self compassion is avoiding difficult emotions
10- being compassionate is too hard

Each one basically has the science behind why they are not legit things to think

Doesn’t a lot of that have to do with how you treat yourself & how you talk (aloud or silently) to yourself?
For example, if you miss the train you wanted: Are you thinking (or even actually saying), “I’m so stupid! Even children can manage the train schedule!”
Maybe she wants you to work on being kind to yourself?

Yes that's exactly right @cakeandchampagne apparently this is called self compassion
Your example is really good as that's exactly the sort of thing I'd say to myself - not sure
about how I'm supposed to change tho

Maybe the change can start with an awareness of situations where you are unkind to yourself (like the train & calling yourself stupid), and thinking of a kinder reaction, like: “It’s not ideal, but people sometimes miss trains & have to adjust their plans.”

That's true @cakeandchampagne I will try and think like that.

I had a meltdown today after some bad news which means there's a possibility I won't be allowed to my family home for Christmas (the physiatrist has final decision). One thing after another always one thing after another.

I’m sorry about your bad news today. I hope your doctor decides in your favor. When will you know for sure? Will you be told in person, at an appointment?

Yes I will be told in an appointment probs I'm 2 weeks 😣

It is good that you know about it now. If the doctor says no, you will have already thought about it and worked through some of your anger/sadness & could calmly discuss it/tell them why you disagree. (Even if that wouldn’t change their decision.)
You can also be thinking of some ideas about how you can have a nice Christmas anyway.

Some good news- initial decision has been overruled. I can go home for at least a week!

Today I cleaned my whole flat and ate a meal. It's been the best day in weeks. As soon as the dark mist started to descend I went for a walk which turned into 3hrs out. Then the cleaning. Even though it was lonely it kept me busy.

Trying to remember this positive day

I’m so glad you’ve had good news & a good day!
And cleaning your whole flat is being very kind to yourself.