I really dont know what 2 do anymore i think i av sumthing wrong with me my teenage years were pretty traumatic i was plied with alcohol n raped by a group of men thankfully i was unconscious n i only experienced the pain n humiliation as i woke up in a bin yard with out my clothes n had no other option other than walk home in just my torn skirt i was 15 when this happened then when i was 17 i was kidnaped by a pimp coz my cousin ran off with 1 of his girls n i was forced to earn the money that he was losing due to my cousin he kept me for 8 days n then just dropped me off exactly where he took me from n the other time two guys offered me a lift n i exepted they didnt take me home they took me to an empty flat apart from a matteress on the floor n a tv on a wooden chair their was nothing else in it but i managed to escape by asking if i could get a drink out of the tap then i noticed the key in the door so i put the tap on opened the door n ran i had no idea where i was but a lady stopped to find out if i was ok n she took me home but as a young adult i met the most amazing boyfriend who made me feel special n loved n i planed on spending the rest of my life with we had a son the a daughter i had difficult pregnancys but i was so happy until i woke up after m second c section n was told id been sterilized i couldn't understand why i but they told me that if i was to get pregnant again my life would be at risk so i started trying to forget n move on then my partner found out he had a 18 year old daughter n started trying to build a realationship with her but he was visiting her at her aunties house n as time went on i felt he was losing interest in me so i put an app on his fone that enabled me to receive all his incoming n outgoing tx messages n he was telling her he loved her i couldnt believe it i felt so lost n alone my world was cumbeling away from under my feet this was 2 years ago im still with him coz life without him is more unbareable but i cant seem to cum to tearms with it n im struggeling so much ive tried taking my own life but i managed fone a friend before i became unconscious n he managed to bring me round i really love my patner still n i want the relationship to work but i dont know how to get past this thankyou any advice would be appreciated greatly