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Mental health

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How do I stop telling people I’m okay

3 replies

Differentusername · 10/10/2019 19:53

Went to the GP today. I’ve been diagnosed with depression in the past but not for 16 years or so. However I’ve never fully felt normal and I think I’ve probably been managing a level of depression and anxiety my whole life. I’m just very good at looking like I’m coping. Recently things have got worse and although many people wouldn’t notice any difference I feel like I’m on the verge of falling apart. Sometimes I’m cancelling all social activities; sometimes I’m feeling suicidal (though I think it’s more that I want to escape than die). I fully expected the GP to dismiss it either with antidepressants or just by saying I’m clearly fine but she actually took me seriously and has referred me to psychiatry and strongly suggested I take two weeks off work. I don’t know what to do now. I spent the afternoon crying and then put myself back together to do the school run. It’s very tempting just to continue the lie that everything is fine. I can’t imagine telling work that I’m not well and need time off. They think I’m good at what I do, if sometimes a bit flaky. I’m not sure why I’m posting really. Sometimes the lie is so powerful I almost believe it and then the next minute I’m a crying, shaking wreck. Where do I go from here?

OP posts:
Anonmummy111 · 10/10/2019 19:58

Was there a trigger when it all started 16 years ago? Xx

Smarshian · 10/10/2019 19:59

I didn’t want to read and run.
Is there someone you trust at work to talk to about this?
Please please be aware that being mentally ill is just the same as being physically ill in terms of how debilitating it can be.
If you had a broken arm would you feel the same about telling work?
I’d strongly advise you to take your doctors advice.
Hopefully it will enable you to recover quicker and return to work more productive than you have been.

Woollycardi · 11/10/2019 17:39

Hi, just wanted to let you know that I know how that feels, to have lived looking like you're coping when you're not. It has been one of the most painful processes of my life to acknowledge that it was mainly all an act, but I now realise it has been so harmful and I just couldn't keep up the act anymore. However, you are not where I was so I would say at this point just take the time off work and look after yourself, start talking about how you really feel rather than how you are trying to appear. It is so, so hard, but please do this for yourself. And for your kids. They need you to show them it is ok to feel.

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