Went to the GP today. I’ve been diagnosed with depression in the past but not for 16 years or so. However I’ve never fully felt normal and I think I’ve probably been managing a level of depression and anxiety my whole life. I’m just very good at looking like I’m coping. Recently things have got worse and although many people wouldn’t notice any difference I feel like I’m on the verge of falling apart. Sometimes I’m cancelling all social activities; sometimes I’m feeling suicidal (though I think it’s more that I want to escape than die). I fully expected the GP to dismiss it either with antidepressants or just by saying I’m clearly fine but she actually took me seriously and has referred me to psychiatry and strongly suggested I take two weeks off work. I don’t know what to do now. I spent the afternoon crying and then put myself back together to do the school run. It’s very tempting just to continue the lie that everything is fine. I can’t imagine telling work that I’m not well and need time off. They think I’m good at what I do, if sometimes a bit flaky. I’m not sure why I’m posting really. Sometimes the lie is so powerful I almost believe it and then the next minute I’m a crying, shaking wreck. Where do I go from here?