Sad sad and more sad

[PurpleFrames]

Been in this period of illness for nearly 2yes now. Cba with being suicidal everyday. Just don't want to try any more. I'm so alone and no one really cares.

Please contact crisis again my Lovely and try to accept the ambulance, now it may feel like it's the last thing you want, but it may be what you need.

It's shitty that they are stopping your treatment, really shitty, but please don't forego the help that crisis may be able to offer.

Sending lots of love, a brew and hugs xxx

Sorry your therapy is being stopped. Though they decided you weren’t making progress, I guess you felt it was helpful & wanted to keep it?

If not A&E tonight (yet, anyway ), what is your plan tonight to stay safe?
You might sleep better tonight if you take a warm shower right before.

How early can you contact your worker in the morning?

@PurpleFrames How are you doing?

@WishMyNameWasWittyNotShitty thank you x

@cakeandchampagne
I have been told it's the only thing that'll really help me. Meds won't really change me according to my psychiatrist.

I didn't call her and she didn't make contact with me (they get updates when we call the other service). In reality there's nothing any of them can tangibly do anyway.

I just been in bed hoping it'll all be over soon

So it seems instead of stopping your therapy, they should have doubled it or changed the therapist.

Are you watching anything? Have you eaten today?

@cakeandchampagne
I've had the tv on just for a bit of noise to drift me off to sleep.

I spoke to the crisis team again but they couldn't understand me because I was crying so asked me to call back later.

I had a half bowl of cereal and a carrot. I'm not sure if I'm still sick or just too sad to have appetite.

I hope you sleep well

Thank you- I hope you sleep well too, and feel a bit better the morning.

Thanks @cakeandchampagne

I'm unsure if to call either of my workers. I know what I need to do - eat something, wash, take meds, relax. But haven't progressed beyond being curdled up with bad thoughts overwhelming me.

poss triggering*
I have to do a short shift later in a 5floor building head going bonkers

#1 Take your meds.

I cancelled my work shift.
Haven't yet progressed out of bed :(

I walked in front of a car this evening to try and end it. Obviously it didn't work the driver shouted at me a bit. I had a wobble on the way home and just got back into bed

You know, when you only get out of bed to go out & step in front of a car, you need some professional help.
I’m glad you’re “okay” after that, though you are obviously suffering.

Why not A&E? Why not call your worker?
Did you eat something?

@cakeandchampagne
Thank you for caring. Ny worker only does 9-5 non-fri so I can't get hold of anyone until Monday. I spoke to samirians for a long time and they helped a lot. I should have gone A&E but I've had so many bad experiences I try and avoid at all costs- I even glue or stitch my own wounds.

Sorry I couldn't be honest like this to any one in real life. I have eaten a full meal today and had a 10-15min walk in the fresh air. I feel very different mood wise but not happy

You & Owen on Grey’s!

I’m glad you ate & got out a bit.
And it’s good to hear you had a long chat with Samaritans.

@cakeandchampagne
What does that mean?

You said you stitch your own wounds. Owen was an Army doctor on the Grey’s Anatomy show who stapled his own leg wound.

Sorry I had to google the show 🙈

Sorry, I didn’t know you wouldn’t understand it easily.

Started pt 2

Sad, sad and more sad pt2 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feeling_depressed/3725307-sad-sad-and-more-sad-pt2