Blood - OCD

[tigerfeets]

Hi everyone

I am pregnant at the moment and struggling with my OCD around blood.

Was recently in a hardware store and had to pay on card - I noticed the card reader had what looked like dried blood on it (or could have been red paint etc)

Said to the checkout person it looks like someone has bled all over this and they just smiled at me (weird)

So anyway I paid with my card using the card reader (didn't do contactless because over the limit), then handed the card to my partner, grabbed our stuff and left.

I put my hands in my pockets and touched my phone, then used hand sanitizer in the car on my hands.

Now it's a few days later and I'm obsessing about what I could have touched. The plant I carried - that container has gone in the bin - that could have germs on

The car
My clothes - put in the wash but then touched my PJs without washing hands and have been to bed/on sofa etc so they could be contaminated
My phone

I'm struggling to not disinfect everything but I'm paranoid about hepatitis! Especially the thought of spreading the germs around and someone else then catching it.

Has anyone got any advice/been through anything similar?

Struggling here!

Thanks for reading xxx

Tldr: might have touched dried blood - now worried I've been spreading germs around

The rational response is that the chances of hepatitis having been picked up and spread around are very slim.

There's no harm in having a wipe down of handles, phones etc. with an anti bacterial wipe, if it makes you feel better. Chucking out the sofa is a step too far though!

If you can't stop thinking about the contamination, I'd ask why do you think you are worrying at the moment? Is there any thing you are particularly worried about?

Have you ever had any help for your OCD op? My dp has it too. I read a book last year called "Mad Girl" written by Bryony Gordon who is also a sufferer. If you haven't read it I would recommend it. If I remember correctly she had a bad "outbreak" (sorry I don't know the correct word to use) of her symptoms when she was pregnant too.

Thanks for the replies:

I've had CBT before a few times but maybe it's not got truly to the root of the issue.

I don't think I trust myself - I know it's irrational but I feel like I can't trust my own opinion if that makes sense.

I'll have a look for that book thank you 🙂

I think being pregnant has seemed to exaggerate my worries to no end sadly!

Maybe hypnosis would be worth a try?

Not tried hypnosis before, the thought of it freaks me out a bit tbh. Losing control and all that. Anyone had any experience of it?

Problem is I struggle to know what a rational response is -
I used hand sanitizer on my hands then later on, on my phone
I changed my clothes as well

My partner doesn't want me wiping stuff down - I think for him it isn't a 'normal' reaction so I'm trying to resist.

After paying for items I held one and it went in the boot of my car - which has been used since for shopping etc. I'm trying to resist cleaning it.

What do people think? Rationally?

Rationally I think you need to seek the right sort of help before you give birth. I'm thinking back to my mother when I was young (and all her life to be honest), we couldn't blow our noses indoors, we had to have strip washes at the kitchen sink because the bathroom had to be stain free, we couldn't use the "best room" even though it was the only one with a table in it and the cat wasn't allowed in the house. I spent my whole childhood treading on eggshells and looking back it was largely down to my mum's issues. Please do the right thing and seek help before it is too late for your soon-to-be-born child's sake. You will also benefit from being able to enjoy things more.

@msmith501 thanks for your comment - I have had help (recently finished therapy but have relapsed since)
I am working on my issues and slowly improving and I'd hate to have that kind of environment for my kids.

The cleaning is a compulsion that you need to try and resist as it feeds the OCD - it's like walking a path, the more often you go down it the more worn it becomes, it gets wider and it's easier to go down again.

I shouldn't reassure you, but the chances of getting bloodborne germs from a bit of dried blood is zero to none - viruses wouldn't survive and they can't enter your bloodstream through the skin anyway.

Pregnancy is known to increase symptoms of OCD and even cause it in some people. There is a different treatment for OCD that is meant to be very effective called ERP. A therapist will guide you through it, it exposes you to your fears, imagining they are true and allowing yourself to feel the anxiety.

When an OCD thought comes up regarding germs, you need to label it as OCD, allow yourself to feel the anxiety and resist the compulsions. Acknowledge the thoughts without trying to push them away. Mindfulness could help with practicing this skill.

I have ocd which flares up when I'm stressed and also each time I've been pregnant. Wait till you're nesting you wont care if your partner is happy about wiping things down!

I believe cbt really is the best treatment for it although I've never had it myself. I think back to my younger days before I suffered with ocd, I never even heard of antibac gel, used public toilets without stressing about touching doors on the way out, didn't wash my hands before eating, I was rarely ill!
Since I've had my dc 6 years ago I have been ocd about handwashing and germs, this year I was the most ill I've ever been in my life, with a horrible chest infection. I am trying to give myself some exposure so regular bacteria now as I truly believe I have weakened my immune system.
My advice to you op as you're pregnant is, do not over think things, wash your hands when you come back home, or if they are dirty in between, or use antibac when out and about if you are going to eat. But no more than that. We really do need some level of dirt!

Thank you for your comments - it really is greatly appreciated. I don't know anyone personally with experience of this so I can feel quite alone sometimes! I will be looking back into therapy and hopefully I'll be able to get some additional support. I am trying to resist cleaning but it is so difficult! All the best x

Pukka - thanks for the reassurance (I know it's not ideal but it does help)

I've read up on hepatitis and it says online it can survive for days/longer on exposed surfaces so it freaked me out (even in dried blood).

But if there really was much of a risk then surely a lot more people would be infected.
I just need to stop thinking about it and move on.

Once again thank you for your help!

OP - the mere fact that you are researching Hepatitis is worrying. You are going looking for issues that will not happen and for the most part, cannot happen. Without scaring you silly, wait until you have to manually pull a poo out of your baby's bottom or suck the snot out it's nose. I'm not saying that you will ever do these things but as parents you'll be amazed what you do when it's needed. Poo, piss, sick, snot, the volcanic arse explosions of the early months.... you need to focus on sorting this problem out and for god's sake stop googling for facts to scare yourself with. The reasons why humans are the top predator is that through evolution, we have become remarkably resilient and adaptable. We are probably our own worse enemies - we hide from and bleach germs into oblivion and a result are less hardy than even 20 years ago and we've recently had a reintroduction of measles due to parents being misinformed / scared into not having their young ones properly vaccinated.

Thank you for your comment msmith I needed to hear that. Sometimes I need a bit of a kick!

I know I need to stop looking things up online - google can be a blessing and a curse sometimes!

I'd never not have my kids vaccinated, that's for sure.

Once again thanks for the support 🙂

That goes to everyone

Hi again op. I hope you're feeling a bit better. Definitely speak to your gp, you sound like you need extra support and pregnancy and then the early stages of a baby are hard enough already.

To answer your question about rational reaction, you said in your op you were unsure whether it was paint or blood. I'm struggling to imagine that scenario.. I think I would have thought paint. If I really did think it was blood at most I'd have washed my hands when I got home. Or used antibacterial gel if I had any on me. That would have been as far as I went.

And again I really recommend that book I mentioned before, Mad Girl. I found it a great read as someone with my own mental health issues, but the main focus was on her OCD and I think you would get a lot from it (I don't have any reason to promote this book so sorry if it seems like I do, I just thought it was great )

Thank you Dave I am feeling a bit better, but it comes and goes each day.

I will be speaking to my GP as soon as I can get to see them.

I got the book - currently reading one about tackling OCD but it is on my list to read 🙂 thank you for the recommendation!

(Oops wrong username my bad!)