Sitting in GP waiting room

[NeedingHelping]

Feel sick, can't stop the tears, want everything to stop.

Posting because I don't know what else to do. Never asked for a digital hand hold before.

Hi @NeedingHelping
How goes it? You were seeing the GP again today weren't you? How did you decide to go on?

I found, on both occasions, the thing that got me back working again was counselling. I tend to have a constant conversation going on in my head and when things weren't good the constant rethinking and reworking of them and dwelling on them drove me mad.
I found the opportunity to have someone actually listen to me so valuable. Talking it all through with someone not involved who would just listen and not judge, not try to solve the problems just let me get it all out of my head was a really important part of coping.
My partner was great but it was so much healthier for our relationship for me to de-stress with someone else and then spend quality time with him.
Of course the counselling didn't solve the problem, just helped me live with it in the short term.

Hi Pipnik... I have good things to report! I'm less woozy on the tablets (although I am sleeping a lot and wobbly on first waking) and the knot of anxiety in my chest is easing. The GP signed me off for the rest of this week just to be sure, and I'm going back on Monday.

I've asked to be referred for counselling, and I've made a short list of simple things that will help me cope in work on my return, so hopefully my manager will be open to them.

I met my colleague who said that most of what was causing me stress was just the way the company worked, and I just had to be more resilient, but I'm putting that down to not understanding my mind rather than unkindness.

Hi, just found this thread and wanted to say hi and hope things improve for you. Life can be so bloody hard. x

@NeedingHelping could you try taking your medication at a different time of day if its making you wobbly? Mine made me feel really crap for 2-3 hours so I took it last thing before bed and still do.

What helped me most is writing things down - sometimes in diary form, sometimes a letter, sometimes just a list of the things I needed to do in really simple steps so every crossed off item was an achievement!! One day it started: open eyes. sit up, get out of bed, drink water. have a wee.

Thank you for all your support!

It would make a lot of sense to change when I take the tablets. I think I'll shift it along an hour each day until its in the right place...

Went for another walk today. Almost had a nap afterwards, but didn't! I'm a bit worried that I won't get back into working mode as easily as I want to, or that my boss won't be understanding.

I'm going to try keeping a pad and paper with me, and if something starts to make me unecessarily anxious, I'm going to write it down, tear it up and bin it - an attempt to be more resilient and objective.

Does that sound silly?

That doesn't sound silly at all!! I keep a pad and pen in virtually every bag I use, in my car, in my office, next to my bed and also in the kitchen!

I've never tried the tear it up and bin it route - depending what I was writing down, sometimes it was theraputic to go back a few months and re-read what I had written. However if its negative feelings towards someone or something, my mum found it helpful to write a letter to that person/thing to get her feelings out then burn it!

There's nothing wrong with trying things for a day/week/month or two then changing if it doesn't work. As your health improves, different things will work at different times. Just don't bottle it up

Hi @NeedingHelping how's it going back at work? Your colleague didn't sound particularly supportive. I hope your manager is better. My managers support came in at the level of "there's no point in crying it won't get the work done any faster". Luckily it wasn't representative of the rest of the organisation and with the right support I finally realised I was just in the wrong job for me. It took a while though for me to work it out.

Hi @Pipnik, sorry for the radio silence. It's been a funny old fortnight - my manager didn't respond the way I expected as I made some suggestions that would help me to stay objective and temper the anxiety, and was told 'that's not my management style'. We agreed some strategies but when I said I'd put it in writing as an official request for adjustments I got a very cold response.

Not sure what to think. I've taken a couple of holiday days and that's helped. Back tomorrow.

I discovered a secondment opportunity in the same company, so I've bashed out an application. Maybe a change would do me good?