Health Anxiety ... it's returning

[Mumma1984]

Eugh I was so pleased with how far I'd come, I was 6 years on from the worst time ever, I had every symptom under the sun of MS when a relative died of it, I was obsessed - I felt awful 24/7 - burning skin, getting hot and panicky, tingling, dizziness - just allsorts, I swore I had it ... but then I had so many symptoms the doc referred me for an MRI (in fact he said tbh I think it's anxiety but I'll do it ) and it was fine ... then everything just disappeared !

Well during my pregnancy I had a kid of health things, fibroadenoma in my breast - thought I had cancer, sepsis in labor and so on ... it was stressful

Now he's older I've carried those things and held onto them ... now I am having more breast symptoms... again the GP says it's nothing and I've had 3 clear ultrasounds but I just panicked and it's worse when you have a kid. Recently it got big again and tonight I had my first I guess panic attack again, I got panicky, hot, burning skin again, really irritable because I was panicking - the whole thing made me so worried I'm spiraling back to all that again ! It's been so long and I'm determined not to go back there ...

I'm investigating private CBT, what else can I do to stop this in its tracks!

Hi Mumma, I’m exactly the same, all started with a real diagnosis about a year ago - I’ve had a terrible few days where I can think of nothing else but what might be wrong with me, I’m so distracted. I’ve got to the point where I don’t know what’s real and what’s in my head, I’ve got numbness and tingling in my face but don’t know if this is just really bad anxiety.
I seem to be at the doctors/dentist all the time and can almost see them thinking “what now”.
I feel like I’m walking round in a daze while everyone else is getting on with their lives without a care in the world, it’s a horrible feeling.

@curlyfries yes it really is! But you know what I refuse to believe it's anything other than anxiety and I will repeat that to myself again and again, we just need that one thing that clicks! That's why I'm bloody trying everything - I need to be a good mum and a good fiancé and a present one not panicking and snappy with people - I think if we keep telling ourselves that's all it is maybe we can beat it!

I can tell myself it’s anxiety for a while, then it switches back to cancer unfortunately. I try to do all the right things, exercise, avoiding alcohol and eating well, but sometimes even that doesn’t work. I know what you mean about being present and not snappy and panicky, I try to do mindfulness, this helps a little.
I’m trying to avoid antidepressants as I feel they affect my concentration memory, but if the obsessional thoughts continue I might have to consider them.