I think I’m only alive because of my kids

[Boo3Mum]

The title says it all really, I live and breathe them, I have 4, no family around, no help whatsoever, one youngun at home others at school. I’ve had depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember, relationships with my family are hard as they couldn’t give a crap about me, my husband tries to understand but he works and I don’t want to burden him with all my stuff.

I have thought about suicide for a long time mainly cos I can’t be bothered to feel like this anymore, but my kids obviously are stopping me, if it wasn’t for them I’d be gone I think, the fact that they would have to go through so much of I did, and their lives would fall apart..is it ‘normal’ to feel like this? Do I need to get some urgent help? I have felt like running away many times but never done it, although it might make people stop and see what is actually going on? Dreading each day, but some are better than others. Anyone else felt like this and snapped out of it? 😳

I think everyone feels like that every so often. It's when you feel like that all the time you need to seek help.
You really need to go to your gp and get some help though as feeling that way all the time isn't good.

Sending hugs

Please get some help. I've got PND and this is how I feel a lot of the time.

I spoke to my HV before going to the GP, but that's because I trusted her to help me get to where I needed, mentally, before I could speak to the GP (who was lovely, but I hate talking to people I don't know)

How are you now @Boo3Mum ?

Yes, many of us feel this way from time to time. It sounds like things are really difficult for you. There is help out there- If you have anxiety and depression then talk to your gp. They can help by way of medication or arranging counselling. Are you a single parent? They may be able to signpost you to something like gingerbread or other support networks.

Quite frankly four kids? I think you are amazing and your children are lucky to have you. You feel awful, yet you keep going! Awesome. But you deserve to feel well too xx

thankyou for your replies it means a lot.

I am just taking it hour by hour to be honest. I have a husband who is supportive but he doesn't really understand the severity of it sometimes. I have been to CBT and counselling before and it has helped a lot, its just the constant battle in my head that I am tired of and it just makes me wonder if it will be like it forever and then that thought scares me, the thought of having days like that forever is the worst feeling I think and that's what makes me feel tired of it all and wonder what the actual point is? ( apart from my little ones needing me).

your replies mean the world and thanks so much for them, you all have your own very busy lives and to take the time to reply to a complete stranger is very kind.

It won't be like that forever. You are doing the right thing. It does get better