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DS missing again

8 replies

Masie24 · 30/09/2019 22:56

DS1 missing - again. Out of hospital (went missing inumerable times, even from a section) and living in the community under an assertive outreach team. Has little, if any, structure. We see him a lot and are trying to work with his team to help him find a goal, a purpose, a reason for being (he's tried taking his life before).

He was to see us on Sunday but he's been missing since then. Not long, I know, but I'm worried stiff. Police alerted. He could be anywhere. I am beside myself with worry even though I know that, to date, he's eventually been located (even if that's been 2 or 3 weeks later) or has simply made his own way back. He's not answering calls or texts. Part of me worries that he might have come to grief in the flat that he lives in. Have asked the outreach team to ask the daytime warden (no-one on duty after 5 pm) to check on him. No word back.

Once he's back, and I pray to god that's soon, I want to work him, with anyone to work out why he goes off so often and to help him find a way forward. I have a f-t and a p-t job (money is tight), other kids and can barely cope. Not sleeping or eating. And having to put on a brave face at work - again.

Anyone with experience of family or friends who go missing often? It's not a crime but it causes so much worry and heartache and simply puts off the time when that person can get on with their life?

OP posts:
HennyPennyHorror · 30/09/2019 23:15

Flowers have you told work? If not I really think you should. Only a completely evil workplace would fail to cut you some slack.

I do sympathise as I know (not as a Mother) what this feels like to some extent. My cousin who was like a sister to me growing up, used to abscond due to mental illness and get into all kinds of bother. She has some psychotic tendencies.

She's better now she's 44. She takes her medication properly. Does DS not take his medication?

Masie24 · 30/09/2019 23:23

Thank you so much for your kind response. DS not on medication - he hasn't been since he left hospital. The assertive outreach team is kind but not exactly dynamic. Letting things take their course - and this has happened (again). But this time, I am more worried than ever. Keep thinking the worse. Constant pain in the back of my head.

Thanks - I have told a colleague (in the broadest of terms) but not management. Maybe I should. I think you're right.

I hope that your cousin is OK now - thanks for sharing that.

OP posts:
WatcherintheRye · 30/09/2019 23:35

Thinking of you op. I know that dreadful knot in the stomach feeling. I hope you get that wave of relief soon, when your ds returns. Flowers

HennyPennyHorror · 30/09/2019 23:44

Is he not on medication because they don't think he needs it? Or because he won't take it?

Definitely tell management. It's not a small thing...it's a big thing and something you need people around you to be aware of.

You're obviously doing all you can...it's incredibly hard because there's only so much you CAN do when it's an adult who is in bother like this.

cakeandchampagne · 01/10/2019 00:44

I hope your son returns soon & safe. Please try to eat & sleep a little- there is not much else you can do right now.

Masie24 · 01/10/2019 12:49

Thank you to you all. I'm grateful for your support. It really helps.

No news - Police went into his flat. He's not there.
Trying to work, trying to carry on but I have this awful feeling of foreboding. We were expecting to see him on Sunday - agreed on the phone and by text. He has tried to take his life in the past and it's not long ago that he was on a lengthy section.

Is it unreasonable of me to think that the assetive outreach team should contact us - not a word from them though we've been in touch with the news in the first place and to request liaison with the landlord.

Hardly sleeping. I'll think that I'll try to take long walks in the evening as that might help a bit.

OP posts:
HennyPennyHorror · 01/10/2019 14:25

It's not at all unreasonable to expect the assertive outreach team to contact you. At the very least, they should have done so to see if you knew where he was.

Have you spoken to any of DS's associates or friends? People locally who might know his patterns?

granadagirl · 02/10/2019 23:36

How come he’s not on any meds ?
Especially as he’s been in hospital and in the post tried to take his life
Maybe they may help him

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