Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Depressed partner

2 replies

Noons2015 · 28/09/2019 20:30

Hello everyone. New here but after scrolling 100s of posts I thought I should lost myself. I'm really hoping to find people with a similar problem/situation.

My fiance suffers with depression, normally we can work through it but this time he is so much worse, going hot and cold and is ignoring our 8 year old daughter. I'm really struggling.

He's recently started taking medication after two months of this. We came back from a fantastic family holiday and things went downhill. I said perhaps he should move out for a week to see if things improve. This was now two months ago.

We've been back and forth over the last 8 weeks but earlier this week it really came to blows. I told him I couldn't take his mood swings anymore and his inconsistency with our daughter was not only upsetting and confusing her, but it is making my mental health bad.

He broke down and apologised over and over, crying saying he was sorry and that he would try harder, get counselling and make more of an effort, infact he was considering moving back home to work on things.

Fast forward to the weekend and he has disappeared completely. I don't bother to contact his family anymore for help as since he's become unwell they have distanced themselves from me and my daughter and just don't seem to understand how unwell he is. And when I contact them to say he hasn't arrived to collect our daughter etc I get ignored.

I told him if things didn't improve I would cut him off completely from our daughter and myself for the sake of our own health. This was when he said he was sorry and wanted to correct things.

Has anyone else been here? Do I cut him off? Do I just wait? What do i do? I find it so hard to bear the thought of our lives without him, and luckily I've recently started a new job which I love and it's been a god send the last few weeks because I honestly feel I would have had a break down myself by now if it wasn't for that.

Any advice, experiences etc are welcomed. I just want to hear from people who have experienced this. I can't talk to my friends or family much as they just say he is selfish and I should move on. So much easier said than done.

Thanks in advance x

OP posts:
MissBridgetJones · 30/09/2019 11:02

Oh @Noons2015!

I don't really have any advice, but I couldn't read and leave.
Someone close to me is currently on a real downward one. I am being sensitive and understanding (I suffer with chronic anxiety - which is 80% under control). I feel like I am being gas-lighted - its like one minute we are ok and then next he ignores me, its like we are not in the same room. Then I think it's me that's the problem. And then I feel self indulgent that I think this is about me!

Noons2015 · 30/09/2019 18:57

Thanks for the reply @MissBridgetJones!
I feel selfish at times also.. but it's hard not to think of yourself in these situations at times.
I also suffer with anxiety, and previously depression which probably doesn't help matters either.
It really is a rocky road, I hope you've got some support around you x

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page