Any experience with sn conditions going unnoticed?

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Posted here because it has more traffic. My son is 13 and when posted about earlier, it was suggested he may have sn however, I haven’t seen any major problems during primary school age so is it common certain ones go unnoticed and which are most common for this to happen?

I don’t know about which are the most common, but I always thought my DS may have ADHD. The school did not think that he had, and my concerns were met with “he will grow out of it”. It was only at secondary when he was continually in trouble that I pushed for a diagnosis. I did it with no support from the school, they seemed to think he was just a troublemaker. He was diagnosed and is now described as having sever adhd. I think things would have been a lot easier for him if he had been diagnosed earlier. I suspect he’s not the only one. After all teachers are educators not psychologists.

Ds primary school did everything they could to stop me getting him diagnosed & when he finally got a diagnosis & took the report in to school the SENCO threw it in the bin.

Wow @nat6999 I’m sorry they did that, I hope you didn’t stay at that school as you and your ds deserve better💐

Just read your other thread. Sounds very like my DS. All those detentions are ridiculous; they need to get on the educational psychologist right away before this gets worse and affects your son’s self esteem.

Ds is 15 now, he was diagnosed age 9, his primary school were awful to both of us. It has taken until now for him to find his own place where he is comfortable.

It doesn't really matter how common it is - even if it were unusual to miss these things, it wouldn't mean your DS didn't have SN.

My experience with a high ability autistic child is that the impetus needs to come from parents. No one suggested to me that DS might be autistic - in fact, when I asked them they all said no. No teacher ever gets the broad experience of your child that you do, and I think there is a reluctance to suggest it to parents for fear of being wrong. If you think he might have additional needs then collate your reasons why and pursue it. Don't wait for anyone else to do it for you. And if you're wrong, that's ok. All you are asking for is someone with more expertise than you to assess him. You don't need "proof" for an assessment - you just need enough suspicion to warrant someone else's time to look into it further.

I should add that DS went to a fantastic infant school that took him on his own terms and, I think, did a lot to accommodate his needs without needing a diagnosis. Ironically I think he'd have been diagnosed earlier had they been less good at supporting him.

A SEN, diagnosed or not, is not a MH issue, any more than it is a reflection of intelligence. Obviously these can coexist though. It is not uncommon for SEN to become more apparent later on when greater degree of initiative , self organisation, independence and focus are required and a gap between child's attainment and peers' widens. Primary schools are far more structured, require less mobility and change during the day and parents tend to be more involved.

I’m aware it not a mental health issue and as I’ve said, I posted here for traffic as I’ve seen threads about asd ect on here.

Undiagnosed SN can very definitely contribute to MH problems. That's what happened to DD - only diagnosed as being severely dyslexic, with severe processing delay at 15. There was enough time to arrange 25% extra time and a scribe for GCSEs, but the damage had been done to her MH.

I wasn’t diagnosed until adulthood (autism a few years ago, inattentive ADHD 11 days ago! I’m 32) and completely agree about the long term effect on MH. Even if medication works I’m not sure my self esteem will recover TBH.

Both my children are autistic too and we ended up home educating as neither school acknowledged their needs. And yet they were diagnosed easily age 10 and 7 with “level 2” of 3 so arguably not even the most “high functioning” level.

They are very good at masking - DS less so, but unless they knew autism they’d never guess DD (now 12) was.

It’s not necessarily surprising that your DS is only showing signs now. Many children mask successfully up to a point, and then the mask slips when they enter a situation that is more stressful. The transition to secondary school is an incredibly common point for this. Going from a nice cosy junior school where you’re a big fish, to being a tiny year seven in a massive building and having to change classrooms several times a day, dealing with ten teachers instead of one or two, working out what’s expected from you for frequent homework... it’s a huge demand.

(For my daughter it was the move to a big junior school from a small infant school that did it. Basically big transition points in their life can be a huge trigger - often it can be starting university too.)

My own needs were completely missed as I was very able academically, I was unpopular and awkward but I just kept my head down until around 14 when something triggered a breakdown.

I was diagnosed with ASD nearly two years ago, and with ADHD inattentive type back in June. They have definitely affected my MH. Alongside the ADHD diagnosis (which I was being directly assessed for), I also got a diagnosis of social anxiety disorder. When I got the ASD diagnosis, the assessor said that I wasn’t at crisis point with regards to anxiety, but that I should get help before it got that far.
My anxiety isn’t as severe as it is for some people in the mental health section. It’s only triggered by a couple of specific situations and I’ve developed avoidance strategies.
ASD was first mentioned as a possibility when I was about six. My teacher that year (in year 2) must clearly have had some experience of Asperger’s (as it would have been then) to recognise it in me. I wasn’t struggling at school in any way though, not academically at least. The main ‘trigger’ point for me was secondary school. Asperger’s was again brought up as a possibility when I was sixteen (year 12), but because I was in the process of A Levels (and subsequently university) I again didn’t pursue a full diagnosis.
With regards to ADHD, I’m not sure how that came up, but when I went for counselling in February I mentioned it to the counsellor and the assessment process started.
All of my diagnoses combined make complete sense.

Wow , it’s unreal how much it can affect people’s mental health