One thing after another can't take much more :( need help/advice/support

[healthanxiety]

OK since the birth of my son 8 years ago I have suffered the most terrible health anxiety, before I had him I worried if I only had something to worry about, now I blow things out of all proportions.

I had pnd after his birth which lasted on and off for 4 years. in the last few years I had a breast lump which I worried was cancer, but it turned out ok.

In the last 6 months I have been getting headaches which I managed to convince myself was a tumour, but the doctor put it down to stress/anxiety.

I have a hard time relaxing, and people have said I should relax as my shoulders are up around my ears, and I have been suffering from terrible neck/shoulder pain (I am awaiting an appointment from physio),

I had a massage yesterday, it was my first massage and the lady said she could feel the knots in my back and spend ages working at them, and now today I feel sore, but I have been having minor facial numbness, not much and only for a fraction of a second, and I know that I sometimes get this with stress, but I am really worrying about it, its crazy as I know it probably just anxiety or the neck muscles, but I cant get negative thoughts out my head.

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Am not an expert but have heard that massages help to rid the body of toxins so maybe your body is reacting to something?
Often it's the days after you feel the benefit of things like that.

BTW when i first had one the masseur said i was soo tense it was like massaging a brick ! Haven't ever really relaxed either since becoming a mum.

Hope you feel better soon xx

Dior, I can always try, but sometimes I feel so panicky to try and relax, its a nasty situation I get myself into.

You see Howdy, its being told what you have just told me that makes me feel so much better, I do know that, but have forgotten, hopefully I will feel better tomorrow, and I know more than most when you concentrate on an area it heighened the problem.

I'm the same, I don't think I've every really completely relaxed since I've become a mum. It's a 24/7 job and there is always some part of you that is worrying about the children.

I have recently started doing some exercise and at first, I felt I was defeating the whole object of exercise as a form of stress relief as just trying to get the kids to settle in the creche at the gym was a nightmare and I was stressed the whole time I was there! But I persevered and now they are settled and happy and I have a good workout and I think it has done me the world of good. I get some 'me' time and feel I am doing something positive and constructive with that time and I would highly recommend it.

And I am sure it has helped at least reduce my stress levels if not eradicate them which I think would be impossible.

thats a good point.

I was going to the gym but in the summer holidays I cant go i will try and do more at home.

Its just the feeling of what if its not stress/anxiety what if its something else, but my doctor seems to think its stress/anxiety.