Verbal abuse from bipolar.. Is it meant?

[NativeAustralian]

Just wondering if anyone has any experience. When my bf has an episode, he says the most hurtful things and to be honest I am struggling to forgive as some of the things are just vile. He has for example always held his ex in high regard, but when he's hyper I've been told I can't compare, She's wonderful, I'm worthless etc.
He's been supportive with my work issues in the past but again, in the episode he has called me spineless, says I deserve it all as I'm pathetic and a failure... You get the drift
Afterwards he's said its been taken out of context and apologised but I honestly feel deep down that it's actually what he really does feel.
The rest of the time he is fine, but I just don't know if it's worth it. I have a lack of confidence anyway, and now anything I do, in the back of my mind I hear his criticism and don't know if it's the condition or he's actually saying what he's wanted to say all along.

I have borderline personality disorder and I did use to have very dramatic mood swings 3 years ago before I started therapy, but having a mental illness is NOT an excuse for verbal abuse.

I grew up in a home like this- it will slowly chip away at you even more until you start to actually believe it and you deserve so much more than to be treated like this.

Please don't settle for this.

Hmm. I have bipolar as part of schizoaffective disorder. When I'm hyper I overspend & get very intense about topics of interest etc but what I don't do is get nasty with people & criticise people & make them feel bad. Ever.

I think you have to be an inherently critical & not very pleasant person in the first place for it to come out when you're unwell... if he is actually that unwell? Are you sure he is not just using his illness as an excuse to behave badly?

My ex said awful things about me when he was very ill. And some hurtful and thoughtless things which have damaged me, when he was more stable. I told myself it was his illness but the pain and damage was the same and I had to separate.

My mum is truly evil when she's unwell. I can only thinknits what she believes at the time but her mind is sick when she says it.

My mum is truly evil when she's unwell. I can only thinknits what she believes at the time but her mind is sick when she says it.

^Exactly the same here. And I feel so sorry for her. But I haven't spoken to her in almost two years. It is too damaging to my mental health to be told how nasty and worthless I am by someone who says they love me. You can have empathy for someone that's unwell but that doesn't mean that you should allow yourself to be abused to your own detriment.

I know this was a while ago but Orange is 100% on the money. I have borderline personality disorder and I used to say some horrible things to the people I love before treatment. They were usually not how I truly felt, just a momentary outburst. However - that doesn't make it fine. Verbal abuse is never acceptable and mental illness is not an excuse. A reason for the action, yes. An excuse, no. It's not okay in any way and you do not have to put up with this treatment. Please be safe and happy!