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Should my DH be sectioned? Please help ?

23 replies

Winona45 · 22/09/2019 11:50

I separated from DH at the end of July. There were many reasons but in short he had not worked for 15 years because of M.E and had grown withdrawn, negative and somewhat controlling. He did not participate in family life at all and i mean at all and was mainly concerned with smoking and obtaining weed. I was very unhappy.
In the months before he left he started getting paranoid convinced there was a huge conspiracy against him. That people were out to kill him, that there were people trying to break into our house, that people on the internet were talking about him, plotting etc. The night i asked him to leave he was crouched against the garden fence with an axe listening because he believed there were people on the other side talking about him with guns.
Since he went to his mothers he has not left the house in 12 weeks and 3 days. He believes his phone and car are being tapped and tracked.
I have spoken to him on the phone and told him that i want the split to be permanent. He is devastated.
He calls me and switches between being furious, threatening to take all the furniture, accusing me of cheating, saying that the kids need a DNA test as they probably aren't his to crying and sobbing.
Yesterday he told me he cannot live without me, that he cannot cope physically or mentally and that his future is taking 200 Tramadol.

He saw a private psychiatrist 2 weeks ago who disgnosed a paranoid psychosis episode and gave him Olanzapine. He may be taking them but he's also still sinking a lot and i mean a lot of weed alongside it. He told the psychiatrist and he said it should be ok but how can that be ?

Friends are trying with him but hes just getting worse. He hasnt seen the kids, doesn't contribute financially, won't leave the house its a nightmare.
I dont know whether his doctor needs to know all this ?
He isn't due to see the psychiatric doctor again till the start of October?

Please help ?

OP posts:
Paperdolly · 22/09/2019 11:53

I don’t think it would hurt to make an appointment with his GP.

HoppingPavlova · 22/09/2019 11:59

You can but if the NHS is anything like us at present, good luck. Unless they have actually physically harmed someone else or are imminently going to harm themselves a bed will not appear. Hope it is different for you atm but that’s currently our reality unless privately funded. Absolutely sucks the big one.

cakeandchampagne · 22/09/2019 12:04

His doctor needs to know that stuff- especially about the axe.
It sounds like he is a danger to himself & others.
Is anyone certain he is taking every dose?

Queenoftheashes · 22/09/2019 12:06

If he’s skulking around with an axe and threatening to overdose he could be deemed a thread to himself and others. I’d call the crisis team. I’ve had to get involved with that on behalf of a friend; it took quite a while to get them sectioned but only as a result of this are they now taking medication and acknowledging their illness.

fishonabicycle · 22/09/2019 12:07

You can try - it's not easy to get someone sectioned unless they are shown to be a threat to others I think. There is no money in the NHS now for this sort of thing unfortunately.

RandomMess · 22/09/2019 12:08

You need to step back, he isn't with you, isn't living in your home and he is very manipulative.

People need to stop feeding back to you what he says, you need to stop answering his calls.

If you think he is a genuine suicide risk dial 999 but this could all be a ruse to manipulate you into feeling sorry for him (and it's working). He is likely to be paranoid as for decades you've bent over backwards to placate him and it's stopped and he is not happy!

I've read your other threads ThanksThanksThanks

PotteringAlong · 22/09/2019 12:09

If he’s hiding with an axe you need to call the police before he kills someone

lovemenorca · 22/09/2019 12:10

If he hasn’t left the house in 12 weeks, how did he see the psychiatrist 2 weeks ago?

lovemenorca · 22/09/2019 12:11

and if separated end of July, that’s only 7 weeks ago?

Winona45 · 22/09/2019 12:12

I know. Thats what i thought. Im NHS staff so i know the struggles. I dont even know how it would help i just dont know what to do!

No we dont know for sure he is really taking the tablets. His mother is bed bound so he in effect living alone with the full run of the house.
The axe is here he hasnt done that since. Hes not a threat to anyone currently as he never leaves the house. Its him im worried for. His future seems so bleak, he doesn't work he just sits and smokes bloody weed and cries all day. He needs to sort this out !

OP posts:
Winona45 · 22/09/2019 12:15

He's been gone 12 weeks and 3 days. Its more mid July sorry not to be specific.
He saw the psychiatrist, he was driven by a relative. Thats the only one time hes left the house.

Thanks all. I do need to step back. Ok.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 22/09/2019 12:15

Probably the weed abuse tbh, not harmless stuff at all!

Lou0390 · 22/09/2019 12:20

If he is posing a risk to himself the police need to be called.
Hope everything revolves Thanks

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 22/09/2019 12:41

I would write a letter detailing everything to his GP. Then take a big step back and disengage. It's really hard but he's a grown adult and he isn't your problem.

Do you have DC?

Winona45 · 22/09/2019 13:05

Yes we have 3.
He's already text me today apologising again and asking me to take him back. The daily begging and misery honestly makes me feel terrible im struggling to cope with this constant feeling of guilt. Its so so difficult

OP posts:
granadagirl · 22/09/2019 13:14

If you can, and will be hard
Can you block him for a while?
He’s bringing you down with him even now he’s not living with you.
Only he can do something for himself, and if he’s not done anything in 13 weeks!
unless he starts to come round and do things. Then you could call the police and they may section him and then he may get the help he needs.
Does he still have a key to the house?

RandomMess · 22/09/2019 13:16

Just block him!!!

Elieza · 22/09/2019 13:17

I don’t know what kind of medicine he is on but if it’s like antidepressants then they take at least four weeks to kick in. Perhaps there is extra support he could get from somewhere during this time? I like the idea about writing to the doctor and telling him/her everything. But if you do that can the doctor actively call a patient he/she is concerned about without said patient having asked him/her to? I don’t know. Will they even have his correct phone number if he’s at his mum’s now? Perhaps he/she can’t phone him and will just have to bin your letter, I’m not sure how it works.

I don’t know how you get in touch with a local community psychiatric nurse team but it sounds like they are your best chance? Can you call the surgery and ask their phone number? They may be able to refer him to drugs counselling or something?

Sorry you are going through this OP. He is sick but he is also manipulative. Try and stay strong and get the support you need from friends and family. Good luck. Flowers

Hollyhobbi · 22/09/2019 13:44

I wouldn't let the kids see him at the moment especially if he's in such a state. Who's looking after his bed ridden mother? She must have some carers?

FunkySnidge · 22/09/2019 13:54

Sadly this is likely to be the result of a drug abuse involving a substance which so many claim has no negative side effects.
I agree that you need to distance yourself, he needs to seek treatment for his drug abuse and mental health problems and once that is sorted he can get back in touch. He is an adult not your child.
You have extended tolerance support and help for so long and the situation has not resolved so now he needs to take responsibility for himself.
Making a full report to his doctor would be a kindness.
Don't feel guilty. Sometimes distance and a life life shock is a kindness.

tierraJ · 22/09/2019 14:07

The problem is he's on an anti psychotic but it's got no chance of working properly as the weed will be exacerbating the Psychosis.

My Nan was sectioned by I believe her gp & a psychiatrist as she was a danger to herself.

It was difficult but I contacted her gp when she developed Psychosis he couldn't tell me any info as it's confidential but I could tell him how my Nan was behaving.
He went to see her under some pretext & assessed her.
Then referred her to an nhs psychiatrist ASAP who visited the flat & assessed her behaviour.

It's very hard to get sectioned- I've been very unwell with Psychosis but not been sectioned but then I took my meds & they started to work.

I think if you want to be involved then phoning his gp is the first step.

Sophia1984 · 22/09/2019 21:53

You can contact adult social services and ask for him to be assessed by a mental health team. He will have to consent to it though. Unfortunately I’ve seen recently how impossible it is to get help for someone unless they have made a direct explicit threat to life in a public place. Police, GPs can see when someone needs a psychiatrist but their hands are tied. Solidarity and love to you.

HappyHammy · 22/09/2019 21:57

if he is living at his mums she may well be at risk, you can contact adult social services safeguarding team about your concerns, he might also have a crisis team you can call.

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