I have always suffered with poor mh. Dad is ocd/anxious , very controlling Was bullied at school for looks . Severely depressed /introverted at university although I didn’t know what was wrong with me, still got a good ish degree. I was diagnosed with a physical illness after uni and told nights would not be able to work ( was a wrong diagnosis ). I got a good ish job that did not work out and was then in a rship with effectively a drug addict . I had a year off as had what was thought to be neurological symptoms( had mri scans )but was anxiety.
I then got a job where I was assaulted , another 6 months off.Managed to get a job for 2 years was bullied so quit . Had other job opportunities But I turned down as was so scared of getting into another crap job.
I let everything in life affect me so badly I get into the pit of despair . I suffer depression /anxiety. I am now regretting not taking opportunities in life or following a normal route I get so much judgment in life as I seem somewhat normal .
I have had some counselling and am thinking of taking antidepressants . I am so ashamed of myself dysfunctional work history . I worked so hard at school and was ambitious. Can I break this cycle ?