Money worries affecting my mental health

[Pippinsqueak]

I feeling like I'm loosing my mind. I have a major anxiety over money (or rather not having any) and it's taking over my life.

I'm a new mum having to go back to work after nine month. Originally was going to take a year off but financially not possible. I have a lot of guilt about this and it's affecting my mental health.

I'm not a high earner not my husband but we re not entitled to any help apart from the standard £80 a month. We have some debt and are working towards getting it cleared but I can't see the wood for the trees.

I don't know how to stop my mind spiralling, I end up in tears and with a major headache.

I don't know where to turn to to help with my thoughts. I just wanted to speak to someone I suppose.

I've also posted this in the finance section for obvious reasons.

Hi there, no advice but just wanted to say I am in a similar situation financially and it's really playing havoc with my mental health. Differently from you I have the advantage that my children are older so I do not need to pay for childcare but it's tough. We need to stay positive and keep the faith. Easier said than done, I know.

I hear you pippin and I too suffer from money orientated anxiety. As the breadwinner and mum of three i am always trying to balance everything. I guess all we can do is hang on in there and hope that things will work themselves out in the end because when all is said and done people can't have the money that we don't have. Priorities are roof over the head and food on the table and ensuring good health. Truly no amount of money is worth the anxiety or lost sleep

Thank you guys I'm just always worrying about money and I hate it. We seem to be caught in the middle of always struggling while other people seem to have their stuff together or rightly (sometimes wrongly) get everything paid to them on benefits. No begrudging of benefits btw.

We don't go on holidays, we don't have fancy cars, we shop in Lidl, I can't remember the last time I brought any clothes and I'm still wearing rubbish maternity/nursing stuff, I just can't seem to find anything else to cut back on.

But then I look at my daughter who is happy, healthy and growing strong, I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, a job to go back to and a loving husband and I feel such a wally/guilt for worrying about money........ which then kicks off another cycle of anxiety and the circle continues.

Me too. In our case it's because we are both self employed and our earnings really fluctuate. I just don't know whether we will have what we need or not in any given quarter. We have cashflow savings for quiet times of the year, so we do have that security. But since I had the children it makes me extremely anxious and I don't know how to stop these feelings. We've always had enough for the house and for food, but it makes me so scared that one day we won't. My husband is not in good health and I think that this is part of it, that I'll be left to do it all myself and I won't be able to.

Sorry that wasn't a very helpful post! But solidarity Pippin, you're not alone.

Totally understand, out circumstances have changed dramatically past few months , my depression is awful, not coping still managing to go to work, hate having to say no to social occasions as cannot afford to do them , husband is good ,but he does not understand why I feel so bad all the time, worrying all the time about how much spending and how much left

I had debts that were giving me awful anxiety and I phoned StepChange who put me on a DMP and got all the interest to all my creditors frozen indefinitely. I then only had to pay a consolidated affordable amount per month of around £200. It took 4 years to clear my debts doing this (and my credit score took a batttering for 6 years) but I’m debt free, perfect credit score now 6 years on and I’m so glad I did it. It freed up about £600 a month for us to live on comfortably. I’m so careful with money now though and definitely have lasting anxiety around it as never want to get into a mess again like that

Thank you everyone for your replies I forgot to reply earlier.

We re in the process of consolidating all our debts with a loan which is going to take years (20+) to pay off as we re not quite at the stage where we need debt help and don't want to affect our credit rating.

It's crazy how illness three years ago can put you back and how long it takes to catch up again, then you have a baby and bam it's back to minis square one

I'm still no better mental health wise, I'm going to CAB tomorrow to try again and see if I qualify for tax free childcare