I think I might be due on which might be what is making me feel sad tonight but I just feel I need some help.
My confidence is so low and getting worse and worse to the point I’m struggling to even look at people in certain situations. I’m ok with people I’m in close contact with a lot but people I don’t know that I can’t even make eye contact. I’m ok with complete strangers that wouldn’t know me from Adam.
I feel an overwhelming sense of shame all of the time. Ashamed of who I am and how I look and how I’ve ‘done’ in life. I had my sons young - not obscenely young but young enough that it was a huge huge thing and I’m not sure I’ve ever recovered from that.
I don’t have a single friend. There’s not a person I could call in an emergency and no one that would call me which is equally as sad. I read threads often about people in similar situations with no friends and people say get a hobby etc but how do you do that when you have the confidence of a gnat?
I’m luckier than many - I have a husband and family who love me but I’m fucking lonely and it’s a long life. On one hand I think I’ll still do the things I want to do - I’ll just do that alone but I crave company of a friend.