Worried about my DP. Don't know how to help him.

[RayFish]

I've name changed for this as some of the details may be outing.

Since having our DS I have suffered with PND, I didn't seek treatment until DS was nearly 2, and now 8 months later I'm in a much better place. I still have days when I'm very down but I'm managing a lot better. Through my PND I always relied on DP and I know I must have been such a drain on him and it must have been so hard and I'm so grateful to him for sticking by me and helping me.

Unfortunately in the last half a year DP has had a few very difficult events happen to him, 3 of which were deaths. It has affected his mental health greatly and I saw a decline in his mood over the past 6 months. A month ago I managed to persuade him to seek help and he was prescribed medication but it's still early days with that so still needs time to build up in his system.

A few days ago he lost a friend and has been in a very dark place since then. He is saying things like "perhaps he had the right idea", "maybe it's the only way to stop suffering". He has also been very withdrawn.

I'm so worried for him and I don't know what to do to help him? I make sure I am always available for him to speak to and will always support him and help him. I've given him the details of places he can contact to talk to people/ go to support groups.
I'm just so worried he's going to do something. What should I be doing to help?

I'm sorry to hear that your DH is having such a dark time and you're clearly very concerned about the impact of his grief on his mental health. I've been helped by CALM in the past, their trained counsellors on the helpline can be very effective and supportive: 0800 58 58 58

Depending on your area there are sometimes local free or low cost bereavement counselling agencies that your husband could self-refer to, or his GP might refer him if he asks. Alternatively, CRUSE has services throughout the UK:

www.cruse.org.uk/

www.thecalmzone.net/

Sorry, meant to mention that some bereavements can hit very hard because they also bring up previously 'ungrieved losses'. The impact of such intense grief can produce very despondent thoughts and feelings of 'meaninglessness' which, if left effectively unchallenged, can give way to despair, so you're right to be worried and I hope reaching out like this will lead you both to a helpful intervention.

Here's some information about 'complicated grief', which is what your post made me think of:

www.cruse.org.uk/complicated-grief