Mum guilt

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I don't even know what I'm asking for advice about really I just feel so sad.

I got pregnant with my now 13 year old daughter when I had just graduated from university and had done really well academically and was at the beginning of a career as a solicitor after working so hard for years for this.

When I had my daughter I really lost confidence and because I knew she would be my only child I gave up work and gave up on my career.

I worked part time in a crap job for years and I've now started a full time job which is very stressful and I've had some major issues with.

I just feel so crap about myself. I don't feel like I'm a good mum and I'm not good at my job.

I feel so anxious about things that are going on at work that I'm having trouble sleeping and eating.

I'm really worried that I'm going to fail as a mum. I just want to ensure my daughter ends up happy and not at all like me.

I don't want to go to the GP because I find them very dismissive. I've had cbt for anxiety in the past which didn't really help much. I'm too scared to take medication.

I feel really alone. I don't want to keep harping on about how I feel to people I know because I feel they will get fed up of me but I don't know what to do next.

Hi OP

Sorry to hear you're feeling this guilt.

I came to post something almost similar. I work full time and have 2 DC age 5 and 3. I am so stressed at both home and work and am bottling it up.

I try to tell myself I am being a good role model in showing my children a good work ethic and providing for them. But like you it's hard to shake off the guilt. It can be all consuming at times.

Does your employer allow flexi or compressed hours, would that help in anyway being more present at home with your daughter.

Or would going part time for a while be possible.

Sorry I am not being very helpful, but hopefully someone can share something more practical.

Hope it helps to know you're not alone.

OP I’m sure you’ve done a fantastic job raising your daughter.

I have a baby so not an expert on teenagers, but I think she is at an age where the amount of time spent together isn’t as important as the quality of it - being emotionally available and guiding her into adulthood.

I hope you’ll be able to build up to a more positive outlook on life