child asking about self harm scars?

[coffeeandbiscuitsforme]

I’ve NC’d. I have very obvious self harm scars all over my arms, today my 7 year old pointed them out and asked “why have you got so many scratches. They are too many scratches”. Luckily I managed to fob them off, and avoid the question.

Has anyone else had something similar happen to them? If so, how did you manage it?

I think that honesty is best, be matter of fact in an age appropriate way.

Kids ask questions because they are curious, if you answer the question and then maybe discuss healthy ways of dealing with emotions that may well be that and they won't ask again.

Do you have someone to talk to yourself if talking about this is a trigger for you?

I’d be cautious and maybe ask for advice off a mh professional. My mum told me a lot about her mh including self harm when I was quite young and it did affect me quite negatively, especially when I was a bit older and started to struggle with my own mh due to a trauma. It may be just the way my mum told me (normally when she was in a depressed state and not rational or after a drink) so I’m saying you should lie as your situation sounds completely different but maybe get some advice on what to say and how to say it

So sorry that should have said I’m NOT saying you should lie x

I’m a mental health nurse and I grew up with a bipolar father who has really horrible self harm scars. I think it’s a very difficult one, depending on your child’s understanding and empathy.

As a mother me and my dad sort of jokingly agree that we would tell my ds that he fought a tiger. I imagined that he would be like 4 or 5 in that scenario and could explain in his teenage years what they actually were.

It’s judgement call on what you think your dc reaction would be. It doesn’t feel very comfortable to me explaining that they are self inflicted, both as a child that knew what they were at a young age and a professional. I would say something simple like “yes there are too many scratches, there scratches because mummy was sad but you make mummy very happy insert hug and treat here”.

I think it’s more likely that as a mother you’ll find it more difficult to talk about them.
HTH, pm if you need to