Everything this year is going wrong and I don’t know how much more I can take? It started December 2018 , I got what they think was viral meningitis this however was never confirmed with a spinal tap but the hospital doctors diagnosed by excluding other things, I had blurred vision, SEVERE head pain 24/7 that brought me to my knees, so so so sick. It took me until April 2019 to feel better, in that time I lost my job due to the illness and look like iv been hit by a truck in comparison to my former self, I just finally started feeling better then at the end of April, I couldn’t breath, pain penetrating my chest, I go to the hospital and I am Diagnosed with pericarditis that caused an effusion (fluid) on the heart and this happened just before I was due to get married! On the day of my wedding I struggled to breath, chest pain piercing through my chest to my back, I could barely walk or talk and after I said the vows I went to bed whilst everyone enjoyed the day I had been planning in my mind since I was a little girl. After the wedding I continued to have debilitating head pain, nausea, blurred vision, joint pain, chest pain, every thing in my body hurting , (still suffering) endless amounts of testing and I test positive for an autoimmune disorder they are thinking it could be rheumatoid arthritis but maybe lupus or vasculitis. I am on the waiting list for further testing as St. George’s but this has a 16 week waiting list! So currently sitting here in pain, with dizziness, nausea and blurred vision and an ear infection thinking it just can’t get worse BUT yes, today it did, I lost my beautiful dog who iv had for 13 years and he was more than a dog to me he was my family and I am devastated, heart broken and just feel like iv been kicked and kicked this year, ontop of the above iv have a 9 year old diagnosed with severe adhd a toddler that won’t sleep through the night a grandad that has now got alzimers so bad he barely recognises me and I feel so low, ill and depressed with the chronic medical condition and now emotional pain, I don’t know how to get up. Every time I think it can’t get worse it does and I get knocked again. I’m now suffering SEVERE panicky attacks and I’m only 30 .