Just been diagnosed with complex PTSD. ****Trigger Warning***

[toothfairy73]

Just this ^^ really. Have finally got the right diagnosis, I'm in my 40s. I had an incredibly traumatic childhood as a result of prolonged and repeated sexual abuse.

It feels good to FINALLY have the right diagnosis (although apparently it doesn't make the ICD-11 until January. It is also scary that it is STILL affecting me. I have had so much counselling in the past, I am having more now.

Am I always going to be like this? Am I always going to be on constant red alert? Watching and waiting for the worst to happen)

What has helped you if you are living with C-PTSD?

I can't comment on your particular diagnosis, but I had EDMR therapy for PTSD (not abuse), and it was life changing.

I hope you are able to find the help you need.

It’s such a relief isn’t it, knowing you’re not insane?

I was diagnosed with c-ptsd (alongside depression and anxiety) due to emotional and mental childhood abuse. EMDR and talking therapy has been fantastic for me.

I was diagnosed with CPTSD after a childhood full of abuse) It will always be a part of me, and on a very bad day it is as bad as ever, however, therapy and to be honest getting a job (otherwise known as Massive exposure therapy) have honestly changed my life. It can happen, don't give up ❤️

I have CPTSD and a Dissociative Disorder. Therapy is helping but it took me a good two years to even be able to engage in a weekly session without losing my shit.

I’ve had a lot of bad therapy and been passed between organisations a fair bit.

A great GP is a must to. My GP is exceptional but I had to shop around a bit to find her.

PTSD UK have a Facebook group and loads of chat and advice on there from people in similar situations.

Thank you everyone xx

It must be a big relief to you, to have a diagnosis.

I have long suspected that I have Complex PTSD but my GP has given up on me and my former therapist doesn't believe in labels. Could I ask how you managed to obtain a diagnosis? Also whay treatment has been offered or suggested?

Snookie, look at the registers for a psychiatrist that has CPSTD as a speciality. GPs and therapists can’t and shouldn’t make diagnoses. They aren’t qualified.

The best treatment is psychoanalytic psychotherapy.

Hi, I keep on having nightmares. I'm really struggling to fall asleep every night. I'm starting to dread the nights as I seem to have nightmares in clusters; 4 or 5 in a week and then none for a couple of weeks and then they are back. They rarely gave my abuser in, although the last one of the cluster was one with him in. I could feel him. It was horrific. The nightmares started again last night and I'm terrified it will end in one similar..

Last night it was relentless, the same nightmare over and over again. Please tell me it gets easier. What can I do to help this? Will my counselling help these go away?

When I was younger I used to have a reoccurring nightmare. I just can't face this night after night. I don't feel safe in my own bed; which takes me right back to being little. Please help me see the light at the end of the tunnel. What have you done that's helped?

@Snookiebookie I'm still waiting for the report to see what he suggests. He basically said to me it would be what I already have (antidepressants and counselling). I want to try and find out about EMDR as I've heard it can be brilliant. I saw a psychiatrist, who gave me the diagnosis. It needs to be a specialist though; when I asked to be referred to the psychiatrist in the community team they firstly tried to put me on anti psychotic medication (I don't have psychosis) without seeing me and based on one telephone call. When I and the GP insisted I was seen, she basically gave me a whole load of information about women with adhd and told me to read it and if I was interested (I.e. interested in having a diagnosis of adhd) to let her know! When I asked about ptsd (given I was having flashbacks) she said it was likely (described it as ptsd like symptoms) but didn't do the assessment! Just shit really.

I don't have many nightmares. I experience emotional flashbacks, low self esteem and anxiety. I also constantly feel under attack, unsafe.

I had a small amount of EMDR - 3 or 4 sessions. I was quite skeptical but found it very helpful.

@Snookiebookie I also get the emotional nightmares and not feeling safe. When I went for my assessment, it was at the priory (it was arranged for me by someone else; long story). As I went down through the long drive in the wooded path, rather than thinking isn't this tranquil I thought no one will hear me scream. I am always calculating risk. The nightmares seem to be a new thing. I don't know whether it is the counselling that is triggering them

After another nightmare last night I'm shattered. I'm not falling asleep until at least 2am and then the nightmares mean I'm not sleeping properly. I'm not starting yet dread going to sleep.

It's very possible (in my experience) that your nightmares have been triggered by therapy. Examining a past so characterised by sexual abuse (and likely emotional abuse and neglect) activates repressed feelings and images in the unconscious. So it's really important that your counsellor understands the implications of opening things up with you and focuses on working through the repressed material until more resolution is achieved. In the meantime you might benefit from medication to help you cope more. Sadly (again in my experience) the only way out is through. In other words, your unconscious wants you to face the truth and the reality of what happened so that you can discharge buried emotions like anger. Your counsellor's job is to help you identify those suppressed emotions and actually feel them. As children we can't express the anger we so rightly feel at being disempowered and debased by our abuser(s) so the only option is to deny it. But it lives in us, deep down, and plays out indirectly in our adult lives, twisting our personalities out of shape and affecting our ability to direct our own lives, eg. making healthy choices, having clearer perceptions of our relationships and a stronger, more resilient sense of self. That can't happen until we 'live through' the real feelings we had about what happened to us as it was happening. That's where dreams come in, they simulate the original abuse scenarios in certain ways so that we can "wake up to" the enormity of the trauma we experienced and accept how we really felt about it then. As opposed to how we made ourselves feel about it at the time, in order to survive it. The "return of the repressed" further down the line is the price we pay for surviving, and we need careful handling and 'holding' in therapy to manage that very demanding, frightening process. If your counsellor isn't working with you from that fundamental basis of understanding, you need one who can.

It's huge, what you're doing, but you're a very clever and resourceful survivor or else you wouldn't be addressing the tragedy now. You just need the right support to get you through it safely and effectively

@interminablehellishwhatever thank you, that really helps make sense of it. My counselling is through Rape Crisis. They have been amazing