So am I going down hill again???

[Nemo2007]

or is it just exhaustion or do depression and lack of sleep go hand in hand?
I feel like I am loosing it again. Have been off anti ds for about 5mths or so now, well on and off them over the past 2yrs due to getting pg three times etc. Now I just feel utterly fed up, angry and ready to walk out on my life. I know some of the feelings are normal but some have a hint of my depression. I dont want to go back on ADs and I dont want to end up down the route I was at 3yrs ago so where to from here?

is counselling an option?
you are realising the patterns from your past (and that's a good thing!)

yes, exhaustion and depression can go hand in hand. lack of proper sleep makes feeling low so much worse.
do you have support at home? (partner, other family?)

sighs...i want to gather all of us hurting MNetters into one place :hugs: i hope you can see some light...its there

Nemo sweetheart.............tis probably a combination of all those things. You are a trooper and you never complain. You lo's are hard work cos they are soooooo young.

You need an afternoon of nothing to do.

Will they come to mine for a few hours and you go home and put your bloomin feet up??

I can do babies I just feed them cake

do you not want to go back on ads for any particular reason?

if its not because you dont want to 'fail' at being 'normal'... then maybe you should cut yourself some slack.

if it were for a short while to get you through a difficult period (and lets face it, if you are citing exhaustion as a factor, this is a difficult period. and superwoman might find it hard to be happy on limited sleep for protracted periods of time) then would that be so bad??

like tranquil manana, I'm wondering what your objection is to the ADs? Are you seeing any CPN/psych etc to talk this through with them? (was MTS). Also are the playschool holidays making a big difference to your exhaustion levels? Don't know if this is any help, but Dingle Surestart are running groups etc all through summer.

I dont want to go back on ADs as they dont actually help me they just put me onto auto pilot which means when I next come off them again I will just be in this situation. I need to figure out a way of coping without them. Havent spoken to the CPN as she is naff, although she did phone about 6 times last week She is away this week but will see her next week. I have booked the kids onto a couple of stay and play sessions which might help. Have also bribed DS if he stays in bed for 3 nights with no crying, moaning etc then he can pick a toy from ELC. So last night I only got up twice to DD2. Still feel naff and its not helping that I am uncomfortable with a dodgy shoulder blade[think its a pulled muscle].

sorry meant to say Ds behaviour is also a contributing factor as he is hyper with nothing to do but is also not sleeping even if I have had him out doing endless activities!!

sorry meant to say Ds behaviour is also a contributing factor as he is hyper with nothing to do but is also not sleeping even if I have had him out doing endless activities!!

ok, yes, i see what you mean.
so i guess you need CBT then... as i understand it, this is the best way to find actual solutions and coping mechanisms. re learning ways to process negative thoughts and feelings... or something. am hoping to find it for myself actually.
does this sound like something youd be interested in?
you can ask the GP, apparently.

you are coping with a lot. theres a lot on your plate.
do you have a dp?
any other support?
are you able to set up, say, 1 night a month where you get time out alone to do whatever you wish? a bit of a break now and then, and looking forward to it, might give you the strength to cope better.

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