Hello. I have recently qualified as a teacher and start a new job in September. I'm really nervous and worried and haven't enjoyed summer at all. My last school was a challenge. I had verbal abuse daily and a kid had a knife in my class. It was a relief to leave, but now I feel a mixture of guilt and apprehension for leaving. I am a mum to a teenage daughter. She is my whole world. Her dad took his life 15 years ago, obviously leaving me distraught. I married 7 years later, but he was impotant and I felt extremely unloved and unattractive. When I asked him to show me love in other ways he'd say "why should I". The marriage was annulled, but he remarried, leaving me heartbroken. I believe they've since split up. I feel like I've had no control over my life. I'm now 40 and can't have anymore children (no periods). I told my sister and she said "that's what I'm worried about, we might start trying". I recently had a one night stand (I really liked him and thought he wanted more) which has made me depressed as he just went on about his ex. My house is an embarrassing mess and I can't be bothered to sort it. My siblings have all bought properties. My mum made a comment about them being more successful 'despite not going to uni'. I feel like a colossal failure. I really feel that no-one has ever loved me. Sorry for the long post. Just needed to vent. Thanks x