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I feel such a failure at life

4 replies

Raven79 · 21/08/2019 19:57

Hello. I have recently qualified as a teacher and start a new job in September. I'm really nervous and worried and haven't enjoyed summer at all. My last school was a challenge. I had verbal abuse daily and a kid had a knife in my class. It was a relief to leave, but now I feel a mixture of guilt and apprehension for leaving. I am a mum to a teenage daughter. She is my whole world. Her dad took his life 15 years ago, obviously leaving me distraught. I married 7 years later, but he was impotant and I felt extremely unloved and unattractive. When I asked him to show me love in other ways he'd say "why should I". The marriage was annulled, but he remarried, leaving me heartbroken. I believe they've since split up. I feel like I've had no control over my life. I'm now 40 and can't have anymore children (no periods). I told my sister and she said "that's what I'm worried about, we might start trying". I recently had a one night stand (I really liked him and thought he wanted more) which has made me depressed as he just went on about his ex. My house is an embarrassing mess and I can't be bothered to sort it. My siblings have all bought properties. My mum made a comment about them being more successful 'despite not going to uni'. I feel like a colossal failure. I really feel that no-one has ever loved me. Sorry for the long post. Just needed to vent. Thanks x

OP posts:
Maybe2020 · 22/08/2019 12:02

You don’t sound like a failure to me! Even though academic achievement doesn’t define someone being a failure or not. You have odviously worked hard to get to where you are career wise, so what if your siblings have more money or properties they own?
You’ve done well for yourself and your child. Your not only educated and career focused you also have a child so your a mother and I bet your daughter doesn’t see you as a failure.
Everyone has ups and downs but when your feeling more down than up maybe try go to your gp and see about some counselling or medication? Maybe a nice break or holiday with your daughter? Or even a day out together.
Don’t worry too much about your house just start one thing at a time like clean and de clutter one room at a time or pay a cleaner to come in to help sort out. Sorting your house is easy part it’s your mind that needs better care.
As for relationships most women have had failed relationships time and time again your still young so have plenty of time for meeting someone but I think you should take care and think of yourself for a bit first.
X

Raven79 · 24/08/2019 17:53

Thanks so much. I'd been looking forward to the holidays and with one thing and another it's not been that enjoyable at all. Maybe when I get back into a routine it will be better x

OP posts:
MummyRM100 · 25/08/2019 00:46

Hey there. You sound so similar to me! Firstly - I think it's natural to feel anxious about starting a new job. I know I always do ! As for you saying you feel like a failure and that no one has ever loved you..... sadly I feel like this too. I suffer with anxiety and depression which is bad at the moment. I've had many upon many failed relationships, finally thought I had met the one but he ended it very recently due to my anxiety issues. I'm heartbroken. My parents have always been emotionally abusive towards me as a child and they still are now. It's just me and my son at home and I feel very much alone like it's just the two of us in life.
Please don't feel alone. I for one feel the same as you... and we can't be the only 2! I think sometimes we go through difficult periods of life.... but then things pick up and get better. Nothing lasts forever... the good times or the bad ones. I would go and have a chat with your GP about how you're feeling x

WhatWouldJohnSay · 25/08/2019 00:54

Life is shit. And you've had your fair share of it, but sounds like you've dealt with all of that very well.
You've achieved a lot. You've succeeded professionally, qualifying, and personally with your daughter. Sometimes its easy to forget those things, but you shouldn't. ❤️

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