Misophonia is ruining my life

[Crybabyghoul]

I have a lot of mental health problems but I realised today that this one is really affecting me recently.

My boyfriend listens to podcasts to get ready before he goes out, but the sound from his phone speakers drives me MAD. To the point of crying, shaking and raging. It's come to the stage where I have to ask him to turn it off. I hate myself for it. I don't want to control him I want him to be happy.

This is just one of the noises that bothers me... There's quite a few.

I Do have a psychiatrist, an occupational therapist and a psychologist, but as I have so many more life-threatening (I guess) illnesses, this hasn't really been dealt with.

I feel so sad, he puts up with my mood swings, my OCD and this too.

Guess just need a rant and if anyone has any advice that would be great.

Misophonia is shit, you have my sympathies. I've had loads of therapy and practised mindfulness which have both helped, but honestly the thing that's helped most is over-ear noise-cancelling headphones and a white noise app. In the car, on public transport, in the garden, at work, I basically proactively protect myself from hearing triggers wherever I can. On bad days I use in-ear headphones at low volume when I'm with people too, especially if we're eating. I love classical music but avoided concerts for years because of all the coughing & rustling but can manage now with headphones.

Gentle suggestion to give up the self hatred. You're not trying to control your bf, you're just asking him not to do something that you find unbearable. He has the choice to agree or not.

Also, I think misophonia & trauma ([c] ptsd) have similar mechanisms so trauma focussed therapy would address both. Maybe your psychs could help?

Thank you for your reply.

I can't start any more therapy just now as I am having treatment for bpd and it's quite intense. I will ask about it though.

My problem is that if I suspect noise I will strain to hear it (unintentionally) so I worry that headphones will actually make it worse if that makes sense. It feels like the anticipation of noise is just as bad. I will try it though. I was looking at noise canceling ear plugs too. I guess it's all worth a try.

This illness is horrible, and I hate how people make light of it in the same way that they make light of OCD.