Adult autism?

[MsAwesomeDragon]

Hi, I don't know really if this is the best place to put this thread, but it seemed the closest when I looked.

My dd1 is 19 and is going through a really, really tough time in terms of her mental health and I don't know how to get her help. We've seen the GP, she's been on sertraline since February, but she's not sure it's helping. We've self referred to the NHS CBT service where she had 8 sessions then they've discharged her, not because they think she's better, but because they can't help her!!

She and they have suggested that she may have a communication disorder going on, such as autism. She brought this up with the GP about 6 weeks ago, and the GP said she'd see what she could do but we haven't heard anything more about it, so we don't know if anything is being done. I do now have a number to ring for the adult autism assessment, but dd isn't sure she wants me to try ringing them. She's pretty dispondant about the whole thing, and seems to be convinced nobody will be able to help. I can't ring them without her onside because as an adult she will need to give them permission to speak to me.

She was at uni when this crisis hit, and at her worst she didn't leave her room for 5 days, and was self harming. She came home from uni and is supposed to be going back in a few weeks to restart first year, choosing a different optional module, as she believes her downturn was brought on by choosing an Italian module where she was expected to speak to people. I don't know whether she's well enough to go back, and uni would allow her to take another year out if she needs it, but she's adamant that she's going back.

Has anybody been through anything like this? And have any advice?

You need to get her to decide if she wants to get better and if she does, which she will say yes to then you make a pact to try everything before giving in (which she won't) Tell her as shit as life is now it's making her who she'll need to be in the future for a higher purpose Xxx

Thanks for your reply.

She knows she does want to get better, but she doesn't really believe it's possible right now. She seems to think this is just her, and her whole life is just going to be miserable ☹️ . I think she worries that the adult autism service will be another dead end like the CBT, and she will still be in the exact same place, just having spoken to more people about stuff she finds really difficult to talk about.

Ms, we were on the GCSE and A level threads together, though I have NC since and I fell off the continuation thread. Sorry to hear the first year didn't work out. My DD2 has ASD. I think transition to university is often a time when undiagnosed adult females stop being able to mask because the social demands increase. My DD thinks it is because prior to then you know what you should do/how you should behave and the social norms, but at university there isn't the reference points to help you know what to do/say because it's such a different environment.

I would get your DD to do some reading around how autism presents in adult females, masking/camouflaging and autistic burnout. Once she has she may feel as though an assessment is worthwhile. You could ring the autism service and ask in a general way how you get referred and the waiting list etc. Then you and DD1 go back to the GP and keep reminding them till a referral is done. There is also the private route if it's the thought of the waiting list that is putting her off - the Lorna Wing is excellent at assessing women, though pricy.

You could post on the SN section too, several posters there have older DC - some at university. SN Chat and Children are the busiest.

Well she was quite happy for me to phone the autism assessment centre today. We needn't have bothered though, as a referral has already been put in by the GP. We haven't heard anything because the waiting list for assessment is "well over a year" and they'll let us know when she makes it close to the top of the list.

So now I'm trying to look into private assessment, but the nearest private assessment centre I can find is more that 100 miles from us/uni, so that seems like it's possibly going to be a difficult thing to do. And there don't seem to be any prices on the website, so I'm not even sure we can afford it anyway. I've emailed asking them to contact me, but obviously not heard back as I only started looking this morning.

Oh, and to top it all off, the university have been in touch saying there's an issue with the paperwork, so she needs an additional letter from the GP if she is going to be allowed to resume her studies, but the GP who knows her is on holiday for 2 weeks now. We'll just have to hope that uni will accept that wait time.

I am glad that a referral has already been made, though it would have been nice to have been informed. Unfortunately, a long waiting list is the norm in most areas.

If you do go private do make sure whoever you go with is experienced in diagnosing females, they can present differently to males.

while you are waiting, look up resources to help women with autism, there are lots of things online and lots of useful books. e.g. Temple Grandin's books.

Some of those resources might give your DD useful tools to manage the next year or so.