Managing Eating Disorders in the Office

[Squawkie]

I'm recovering from Orthorexia and have recently had someone with Anorexia move into the office I share with the team I line manage. We'll call her Kate. Kate has had issues with her team not following her rules, fallen out with her line manager and requested to be moved into our office. Kate is triggered by food so has requested we don't discuss food, eat in our office, mention calories etc. However, at the earliest opportunity she will be describing in detail the calorific load of various foods, how it is contaminated and how vile it all is. I can cope with the calorific stuff but my specific food phobia is chemicals and the contamination talk is killing me slowly. I ended up throwing away half a banana the other day because I couldn't face it (they are one of the easiest foods for me to eat because of the skin).

My team was very food orientated (which I have found super helpful), we all eat food at our desks, we all share food, they understand I have issues around food but I have never set any "rules" for them. They are asking me for advice and I do not know how to advise them. They are not shits, they are very understanding. They are worried they are going to inadvertently make her worse and they are concerned for me (I have told them that I am thankful for the latter sentiment and they can always raise concerns they have with me or with my boss but I am responsible for ensuring this situation doesn't affect me).

How do I approach HR to say we need to set some sort of precedent in the office regarding food and how to I help my team manage the situation we have currently? Also how do I kill the negative food conversations in a polite way because I think they are not helping anyone and it's making the office environment incredibly tense.

Naturally this has all happened the week my therapy team have taken their six week summer break...

I think if the team are being so supportive and basically bending over backwards for her, you'd be better having s chat with her. Go through the rules she has set and then point out how everyone is abiding by them but you think it's best if she also doesn't discuss any aspect of food either.

If she feels unable to do this then perhaps she is being unrealistic in what she expects of her colleagues.

I work in a very caring team, who are also food orientated and I know if someone expected us not to eat or talk about food, they'd have got a big fat fuck off.

I'm amazed at how understanding your work environment is to be honest. Surely if people have individual issues they should keep them to themselves? I really don't think an entire team should have to change their behaviour for 1 person with an issue. Food, eating it? Thinking about it, talking about it is normal. I'm all for being sensitive but not for supporting non normal thoughts and rituals that perpetuate wonky ways of thinking

Kate needs to stop dictating. She needs guidance from ccupational health. It needs to be pointed out to Kate that she will not dictate others conversations or behaviour.
Kate needs support and guidance not your colleagues so much.

I'm hoping to speak with HR rather than Kate. I don't feel a conversation between Kate and I will end well at this stage and to be honest I am pretty pee'd off that one of our wonderful HR team thought this move was ever going to be a good move with me in the damn office. I don't think they realise how eating disorders can play off each other.

I think occupational health may already be involved but I will suggest that to HR. Actually maybe I will speak to our occupational health team instead of HR.

I’m not surprised you’re pee’d off and I’m sorry your support team is on leave.