Advice please

[Mummyanddaughters]

Looking for some advice ☺️

Bit of background I’m a young mum with 2 girls 2 and under, I’ve suffered with social anxiety for as long as I can remember... having my babies made me realise I need to get sorted and get help so I’m currently on a (never ending) waiting list for CBT.

Since my youngest was born I feel myself getting more anxious obsessing over things I can’t change (death etc) scaring myself about it, tv, news, music all trigger these emotions when I see things happening in the world (yes I’m aware it inevitable but still doesn’t change the way it makes me feel).

I’m also (trying) to become healthier, but I’m constantly in a ughhh can’t be bothered to do anything mood. Not that I don’t want to. I do but physically can’t bring myself to it, tidying, taking them out etc. I have a short temper feel like I take it out on my babies exploring and getting mad at them, I hate it, I’ve sobbed tonight thinking how awful I am as a mum and they deserve much better so I’m reaching out to mumsnet for advice ... I do want to go the doctors but I’m wondering if anyone has experienced the same, what help they’ve had etc. 🥺 I can’t imagine being full of pills but I need to sort myself out for a better future for my family!

I had the same after first child was born. It was post natal depression and I got no help. The responsibility of having a baby overwhelmed me. I was worried about everything, war, violence, illness...I was anxious before then but didn't realise. Do get help because a few years later I completely broke down. Tell the doctor exactly how you feel and what you think about.

Firstly these are the support routes I'd explore;
GP
Health visitor
Women's centre.

Also there are many social anxiety workbooks you can buy and you maybe able to find a used copy cheaply online. Also YouTube is worth looking at for support from qualified professionals.

If you do go to your GP for advice on medication remember that there's some extremely good courses of treatment available and you'd be started on a low dose so that your tolerance can be monitored before a gradual increase is prescribed. This is done so that the correct maintenance dose can be found, you don't need to end up rattling.

I do feel for you being in this position, it sounds horrible but remember that you won't get judged by any one or any agency worth their salt and that as mums we can all empathise with losing our rag. This is not to diminish your current experience,but to highlight that we're all imperfect humans.

Good luck with your search for help.