Sorry this is a bit long..
I have an 18mo son, I left the job I absolutely loved after my maternity was up- due to anxiety, pnd and what I felt was a lack of support from my manager, along with not knowing where to start in regards to trusting someone else to care for my baby boy while he was still so young!
I miss that job so much. I’m at the point now where I am so so low on money, I have so many bills and lots of credit and debt to repay each month that I can’t afford to have a quality of life, to do nice things with my little one or treat us to anything. we just about have money for food each week!! I need to get a job, but I have such bad anxiety I can’t bring myself to.. I feel like such a mess for the situation I am in, and I feel like I am acting like a child. But I am so scared of the world nowadays I struggle to even leave the house to go get milk from the shops, make or answer phone calls or answer my front door!! I don’t speak to many people at all.. I avoid any and everyone to be honest.
I used to have so many responsibilities in my old job and it was based around interacting with people!! (ambulance crew), and now I feel like I am just so stupid with barely any brain cells left, I struggle to put sentences together out loud now. I have zero confidence. How can I get a job when I’m like this? I feel like a nervous wreck!
Also I wouldn’t even be able to spare enough money to put my son into nursery whilst I worked if I found the confidence to get a job, don’t have family/friends I’ll be able to rely on either, Im in such a rut and don’t know where to begin.
Everything is so overwhelming.
I started on citalopram just 10 days ago and am hoping it will help more over time - no miracles yet, and I’ve been referred for counselling but it may take months before I start that.
Any advice or anyone in a similar position?😪