What to do

[Tigger92]

I just feel sad, all the time. Am I just reacting to a shit situation or am I just depressed and over reacting.
I work in local government in a bid to save money, they restructured a dysfunctional team over 6 months ago , got rid of certain job titles and created some similar ones. So size of the team reduced and a role preciously paid at £35k now paid £25k, the lower roles paid £23-24k. I was previously a lower role, person who had £35k job understandably left with redundancy money as not willing to take pay cut. As there were more people than jobs I had to apply for the higher role despite the fact it was a shit job for the money, they interviewed for this post first so if I turned it down, theoretically I may not have been successful with the other interview for the lower job. So fast forward to now....
I basically got all the responsibilities of the person who got paid 10k more than me 6 months ago + a hell of a lot more. Constantly overwhelmed I can't answer emails, phone calls, messages of missed phone calls because I was on another phone call. I have to respond to the complaints about the fact that I haven't been able to call them back, we can't seem to retain staff due to how stressful and shit the job is with the ridiculous workloads. Everything needed doing yesterday and everything is urgent. I feel like I can't breathe.
I have tried to take time out of the office for lunch, but even then I'll bump into someone from another team and they'll start asking about a case that I didn't get back to them about... Whilst I'm trying to get a break from it. I'm taking work home. My manager just forwards any emails they get as they don't know what to do with them and gives me a deadline to add to the list(they're only there to manage - not actually know anything about the work we do apparently)
The manager has frequently allowed too many people to be on annual leave at the same time and then I get left on my own to deal with everything or with minimal support.
It's impacting on my home life I'm just angry or upset all the time.
I'm exhausted, even when I have annual leave booked I have had to answer queries on my personal mobile or cancelled my leave on the day to come into the office to sort something.
I just feel like crying at my desk.
I had to try stop the tears today through controlled breathing.
I think I've started to try convince my partner to try for a baby earlier than planned because at least I'd get a break on maternity leave!
I don't know whether to go to gp for anti depressants or if they wouldn't help if the situation stays the same.

Have you spoken to your boss, OP? I would suggest this first. Also, being a government employee, is there any support for you?

I have spoken to them about how crap everything is and that I can't cope, they don't know anything about the job really so they can't really take on any tasks and they are one of the people telling me I have to do stuff that needs doing yesterday. No help is offered, don't get 1 to 1s like I'm meant to. Sometimes feel like going off sick for a month just to see the whole thing collapse so they have to feel the pressure instead of me.
It doesn't help that there are a few levels of management above me and not one of them agree what my role is meant to be, so I end up trying to achieve all of their expectations, but I just feel like I'm trying to do everything and failing horrendously

Dear OP, I really feel for you as I felt similar last year also in "government" type job and have ended up taking (unpaid) sabbatical to save my sanity & health. Financially it's been difficult so not advising that route, but totally sympathise with respect to weak management just dumping on you & failing to clarify expectations of role.
With hindsight I would suggest trying to pin down senior manager to discuss exact job spec of your new role. Was it advertised or anything put in writing describing role when you applied?
You need to insist on regular 1:1s & take further if your manager is not doing this.
Bounce back any requests that are inappropriate including those from your manager.
Document everything to show you are managing by prioritising your workload & that the issue is the lack of clarity of the role and not your performance.
If, and I know it's a big "if" you can get a detailed job spec then you can then just say no to the other crap being dumped on you.
I suspect everyone is aware that you are being dumped on but as long as you try and absorb it all they will carry on regardless.
Finally get Occy Health involved, if you have one & if you need to go off sick just do it! I never went off sick & got so exhausted carrying the workload of colleagues who did so regularly - a fact I really regret.
I know what you mean when you say you feel sad but you do sound like this is a reaction to the job more than anything. Please do look after your mental well being and make that your priority. No job is worth breaking yourself for. Best of Luck!