does anyone else experience this?

[sazza200]

my mind is jumping from scenario to scenario, most of these scenarios have not happened or ever going to happen. It's like I can't stop it from stupid thing to the next. I have suicidal thoughts on a daily basis too, I will not give in to these thoughts as I have 3 beautiful children.

I have told my GP & Therapist, they have told me it's down to PTSD which they say I have due to being stabbed on two separate occasions.

I'm male 35-yr old, have recently moved back in with my parents to try and sort my head out but I'm getting worse. I don't leave my house much as I feel like everyone I see wants to stick a knife in me or staring at me. if I do leave the house it's straight to my car. I rarely get out of my car until I'm home.

I'm a paranoid wreck tbh & I feel like I'm losing my mind in a big way.

I hope this makes sense & thank you in advance to those who answer

Craig

You don't say whether you are on medication or exactly what therapy you are having or for how long?
If it's been a long time and your therapy isn't working, you need to speak to your doctor and therapist and explain just how severe your symptoms are.
They shouldn't just explain it away as PTSD without advice on how they intend to treat it.
Feeling suicidal every day should be taken seriously by them, and perhaps mean a stay in hospital?

That sounds horrible Craig, but also, you seem incredibly insightful about what is going on for you. You haven't written much about medication or therapy but I would wholeheartedly encourage you to stick with a particular therapist and see this through with them. Because there is life beyond those thoughts, even though I appreciate they are terrifying as fuck right now. They are violent and aggressive, but they are just thoughts. So I hope you find a place that you can challenge them and see them for what they are. Take care.

The thoughts you have about being suicidal are they such thoughts like "I could end my life by doing A B or C and I'm planning to do it, because I'm so depressed" ? or are there unwanted intrusive violent thoughts about ending your own life that pop into your head and you really wish they didn't because you don't want to end your own life.
If it's the latter it could be a form of OCD called Pure O when people have intrusive often violent thoughts that they will never act on. See here for more information
www.intrusivethoughts.org/ocd-symptoms/pure-ocd/

I have had CBT therapy and EMDR therapy, nothing seems to work. Medication wise I take 40mg Mitrazipine, 150mg venlafaxine and 150mg of pregabalin daily. Today is a really bad day, I'm at a complete loss, I haven't left my bedroom for weeks.

I have thoughts of how I'm going to kill myself, in my mind all I want to do is die but I can't do it to my kids.

That’s a very high dose of mirtazipine, do you know why you’re on that particular anti depressant at that dose? How long have you been on it?

Pregabalin can have horrible side effects , including being suicidal, and even worse withdrawal.
How long have you been on it?

Another great thread full of advice esp see advice by @growlingbear i have just watch some of Richard Gannon, very sound information and easy to listen to, maybe give him a go and it can help xxx

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3658933-To-ask-how-you-overcame-severe-depression?messages=100&pg=1

Also get a meds review asap.

I was told by a psychiatrist to take all doses of my medication, it's all they seem to do is shot tablets at me.

Medications aren't a cure. It annoys me how they dish them out without treating causes.
Since I've been ill, they have given meds for every symptom. I've ended up with side effects worse than the original problem.

That’s what psych’s do 😳
If you say your not feeling any better
They up them
“to the therapeutic dose”
One person is not the same as another! So therapeutic!!! Shite

When you get to the famous therapeutic dose, and your still no better it’s then we will add ..... this in

I imagine they gave you the venlafaxine for depression
Mirtazpine maybe because you said you had problems sleeping
Pregablin for anxiety

Don’t let them give you any more drugs.

Unfortunately all nhs seem to be able to offer now is
Cbt
Emdr
Counselling