Is there a 'partners of.....' thread/board?

[Iamnotanugget]

Hello. I don't know how to put this without sounding like an insensitive dick given that so many people are using this board and have much bigger problems than mine. My dh has always been fine, occasionally a little moody, but just your regular average person then something happened that has caused him to have a breakdown and a tsunami of shit has been unleashed. Most of the time I don't recognise him, he is clearly very unwell. He is getting help in the form of counseling and various medication and I am doing my best to support him but at times I find it hard. I don't wish to intrude on this board but I did wonder if anyone knows of a place I can go to discuss my feeling too? I am so sorry if I've angered anyone or sound selfish. I'm just struggling to cope with protecting our children and keeping up appearances for everyone.

Hello. I came here just now for exactly the same reason! I've found that 'keeping up appearances' is about the only option left for me. When I've tried to get others to help me it makes the whole situation worse.

Thing is I'm not really sure what help others could offer. I've only told one person irl exactly what's going on but they live miles away. I have given a local friend a bit of a clue but I'm aware that she has her own problems right now. I'm just tired of doing everything, lying to keep up appearances and worrying about dh now and what our future holds.

Hi there - I don't know of a thread (did you look on the Relationships section?) but just wanted to send you as I was in a similar position for some years. I can suggest Mind www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helping-someone-else/ and for more immediate help/support in a crisis then Samaritans www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/support-and-information/worried-about-someone-else/ Please don't be reluctant to speak to your GP or request counselling yourself to help you find ways to help your husband, yourself and your family through this - it is an exhausting situation to be in and, in my experience, extremely difficult to talk about with those we love, even close friends and family. Living with someone who has mental health issues can sometimes 'cloud' your own judgement over time, so having an 'unconnected' person to talk to can be really valuable in helping you get perspective, find a way through or just to keep going and to understand you are not being unreasonable to feel the way you do. None of this detracts from how terrible it will be for your husband to go through this, of course, but if you can look after yourself you will be in a stronger position to support him as best you can. Be kind to youself and why not start a thread - I suspect it could be useful to more people than you might imagine x

Perfect for me also. My husband who has only once in the 15 years I've been with him, gone to the doctors, has made an appointment to discuss his health. He has erectile issues/ no confidence/ no sex drive/ absolute rock bottom low. It's awful to see. He works full time, we have a lovely house (albeit lots to do). I try my best to keep myself and the house good for him whilst working full time.

His appointment is still in another 6 more weeks.

Thank you waves for your advice. I have spoken to the Samaritans once before and it was helpful. I don't really know what help I need. I think just not using up all my energy on the DC and DH. I suppose I just wish DH could give some more support.

To apple and my I'm sorry you're having tough times too. Please come and find me on the relationship board and hopefully we can support one another.