Have posted about DH before. Today's a bad day. He's been great all week. But stupidly I made breakfast at the table and by the end he couldn't manage it. Then screamed for help from upstairs. DC watching telly so went up. Massive screaming violent panic attack. I tried to say the things he's asked me to and it didn't even reguster. Had to leave the room to protect my wellbeing. He was screaming so I went back in. I got upset - told him I would give everything of myself for him and would die so he could be free and will love him til the day I die. So heartbroken. Why does this have to be in our lives? Why can't I have my DDDDDH all the time? What's it like to be married and your DH be 'there' all the time? To know their personality will be with you from one moment to the next? What do you do when the person you love to death is in hell? How do I cope with being so alone?
So heartbroken. Totally empty.