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Anyone with complex PTSD looking for a chat.

14 replies

Lazydaisies · 02/08/2019 08:17

Hi,

I saw there was a long running thread in this area and I was wondering if there are fellow sufferers looking to revive it. I am looking at moving forward though dealing with it and it looks like it will take a long time so I’m in it for the foreseeable future.

OP posts:
KittyBaxter · 03/08/2019 02:43

Bump

Lazydaisies · 03/08/2019 17:10

Thanks kitty. X

OP posts:
Grumpbum123 · 03/08/2019 17:11

Yes me. Have started DBT before I can do second stage therapy. I’m holding on by my teeth

Lazydaisies · 03/08/2019 17:16

Sorry to hear that Grump. I’m not sure what DBT is? I’ve had CBT and some other trauma based talk therapies as well as a deep meditation practice course. The meditation can only be done when the trauma dies down though, it is great for maintenance but no good for the actual trauma.

I’ve had a rough week with a lot of retrauma going on so I’m feeling the effect

OP posts:
Grumpbum123 · 03/08/2019 17:20

Dialetical behaviour therapy it’s good

recoveryispossible · 03/08/2019 17:23

Hi Lazydaisies,

I think it's possible i'm the person who started the old thread you're referring to (namechanged since) was it around Easter 2017?

I was very bad with CPTSD at that point. Had a lot of therapy and put in a lot of work and just wanted to report that there is life after this stuff.

I'm just in the process of finishing a Master's degree, I've got distinctions for every module so far - back in Arpil 2017 I was so bad with ptsd I didn't have the executive function to read a book.

I was plagued with flashbacks at that time, constantly anxious. I am so, so much better now. Still have bad days, I'm still working through the fallout of being rejected by my family for speaking out about being abused. So that is a long road.

But I have my life back, a career change and several wonderful things have happened so I do think post traumatic growth is possible.

Sorry to those of you going through it, I know how beyond awful it is.

thisismyneuname · 03/08/2019 18:36

Hi @Lazydaisies, I have complex ptsd too with ocd.
I have a very different opinion based on my own experience.

How much you recover from c-ptsd depends on many factors, not just one - do you have other supportive people ( family or friends) or still dealing with dysfunctional relationships, at what stage in life you are at, do you have a career / purpose in life or you, if you can find a therapist who knows his/her stuff but is empathetic.

At the moment, I have none. I have tried different therapists but most were over confident, dismissive types.
I am sorry my post is not very positive. It’s not to say you can’t get better as others have.

I learnt very late about it and how it affected me.
I have just started seeing a CBT therapist for OCD, he seems good and so far not dismissive at all.
Dh, who seemed to understand my struggle a few days and was very encouraging and interested about my therapist appointment, has made massive digs at me today and said some harsh things. So perhaps that makes me more negative today.

Those of you who made recovery, really happy for you. Please can you tell us how you did it and at what age you started making changes?

Grumpbum123 · 03/08/2019 19:48

40

thisismyneuname · 03/08/2019 23:22

@Grumpbum123 glad to know you are finding dbt helpful.

I am 41

PinkFlowerFairy · 03/08/2019 23:27

Im 40 and about to start seeing someone for a years trauna therapy. I tried the nhs 6 weeks cbt which wasnt that helpful and theg referred menon but its putside ngs/contribution based. Ive never managef to get proper help thtu nhs as i present better than I am wven when I tell them that my lifes screwed up...

I also struggle with disordered eating and tick all the ad(not"h")d but know the symptoms are often the same so no idea which came first.

Executvie functioning esp planning and preparing food and not overeating is realky hard. Or Getti g Thongs Done.

Lifes chaotic. Daughter is asd. But i think a lot od mine is trauma related. Or maybe its both nature and nurture.

I hate at 40 my childhiod still affects me . I want ro function so much better.

recoveryispossible · 03/08/2019 23:35

"Those of you who made recovery, really happy for you. Please can you tell us how you did it and at what age you started making changes?"

Age 38 when I went to therapy and that was the mainstay of getting better. As part of that I did a lot of writing about the past and piecing it all together. Reconnected with some brilliant people from the past.

Cut out the hideously dysfunctional family which was by turns hideously painful and hugely liberating. It stopped the cycle of abuse, and so I was able to move on.

recoveryispossible · 03/08/2019 23:37

I also stopped tolerating stuff that was wrong. Just point blank stopped allowing people to shit all over me which had been the pattern of my life.

That took me on a journey alright, but one that I felt empowered by once I got to the end of.

recoveryispossible · 03/08/2019 23:39

Like, I whistleblew at work over safeguarding failures of vulnerable people and just stuck by it even when I was scapegoated. I was like a dog with a bone over it. I'd never have done that in my previous incarnation. I just...I just started to stand up for myself and for other people in a way I had never been taught to do.

Lazydaisies · 04/08/2019 11:14

Dialetical behaviour therapy it’s good

I’m glad to hear that Grump it is really good to find therapies that work for us.

recoveryispossible thanks for starting that other thread I read through it all before I started this one. It was such a helpful thread. It is so good to read about the progress you have made though the quicksand. I am well stuck in at the moment hearing there is hope is great. Well done you on all your academic achievements, that is so huge.

thisismyneuusername thank you for your insights. I totally see what you are saying. This part

or still dealing with dysfunctional relationships

I think has been totally just recently integrated into my conscience realisation just this week. I got my cPTSD from childhood abuse and parental emotional abandonment but I was retraumatised by my families response to that abuse. I had been in denial that I could work through my family relationships and I continuously got anxious trying to make them work. Now I’ve realised my family caused PTSD and I have to work on treating my PTSD and then maybe in the future have very different family relationships if ever. The relationships are too toxic and too dysfunctional based on life long poor family interactions to even try with most (not all) of them. It is hard but otherwise I am constantly battling myself for peace.

Dh, who seemed to understand my struggle a few days and was very encouraging and interested about my therapist appointment, has made massive digs at me today

This had been a real issue in my own relationship with DH but we tackled it. My DH has been fabulous but man he loved his digs when he got frustrated which given how hard this has been for all of us is a lot. His digs led to my digs and on and on. We had a weekend where we called each other out every time just so we could see what was going on. It was very effective and it changed our communication dynamic.

You don’t need to apologise for writing what you perceived to be something negative, I think that might be your inner critic talking to you, what you wrote made lots of sense. On a journey delving through the quicksand that is trauma there is simply no happy clappy way through, no matter how many self help books say otherwise.

Pinkflowerfairy sorry to hear your therapy hasn’t been useful. I would say CBT has played a role but not a key role in my recovery journey. Mainly focussed on reprogramming childhood conditioning. I have an excellent therapist but I have to pay privately so I only was going monthly and then stopped and now am back to twice weekly for a sort while maybe 6 sessions while I am in the mire. I also use a lot of reading to help between sessions. Mainly books because I find them better researched. The benefit of having large gaps between sessions is that I have become more conscious and confident that I am the main driver of my recovery not a therapist. All in all it will cost me about £500 in therapy in the last 2 years. My child has ASD too, it is so tough to try to deal with the PTSD while dealing with the other challenges life throws up.

Cut out the hideously dysfunctional family which was by turns hideously painful and hugely liberating

That is where I am at, it is so torturous and I am worried that some good ones will be lost to this too which is very sad.

I just started to stand up for myself and for other people in a way I had never been taught to do.

That is really wonderful, what you have achieved is amazing.

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