i'm so low.

[lollyroffled]

i'm so low. i've sat all day and cried. i've cried on my 5 month old baby, i feel terrible.

My baby is 4 weeks old and I feel like I am losing it today. Just when I think I have a second he cries again..he has a lot of wind which I think disrupts his sleep. Also I just went for a walk, when I return (feeling a bit more normal) my partner tells me he is going on a sports trip for a week with a colleague of his, and wants me to stay with his folks who will help look after the baby (the thought of which is awful). I realise he has absolutely no idea what it's like to look after a baby ...any advice on trying to get him to understand?

hi dezzer, men will never understand unless they are left with baby for a whole day with no help! (apart from the few that bring up the kids by themselves - go guys)

i suggest you try and talk to him when he is in a good mood, be calm , make sure you know what you want to say and don't get angry as he will just get defensive.

things do get better, i promise, you get used to looking after baby and become more in-tune to their needs. if he/she has a lot of wind, you can buy drops (infacol) which help with this and also anti-colic bottles (i use tommee tippee closer to nature bottles with built-in valve)

as for staying at his folks, if you feel this is not what you want, then you have to tell him. do you have any close friends or family living nearby that can come over to help whilst he is away?

at the end of the day, you are the mum and you know best for you and baby. if you get really stressed out (i still do) when baby is screaming for apparently no reason then take a few deep breaths, walk away for a minute or so, have some tea, if baby is fed, clean and cosy there is nothing else you can do, sometimes they just like to cry. do not blame yourself for this, and try not to get too stressed as baby picks up on this too.

i'm here if you need to talk, this site is a godsend for us mums!

keep smiling xxx

Thanks! It's so nice to have a rant and not have anyone give you a guilt trip afterwards!

My other thought today - to help with his sleeping (he wakes every 2 hours - I breast feed) is to get my partner to give him a bottle of aptimel before bed to try and fill him up a bit more, and sleep a little longer. He is putting on weight fine on my milk but thought this could help, will this disrupt the breastfeeding?

Thanks x

hi, no problem...

rant away!

well i'd advise you express some milk so your partner can help feed when you are too tired. you can keep it in the fridge for 24 hours and warm when you need it, so express throughout the day in between feeds. (like you have the time, i know...!)

to be honest my baby was so hungry (he's a very big boy!) i started giving him formula for hungrier babies at bedtime and this did help him sleep through, but this did have an effect on my breastmilk and i had to stop when he was a few months old. if you do this, make sure you still express so the flow keeps coming. your milk comes in mostly at night so you have to make time to do it. i found it so easy to forget and it totally dried up. i wasn't very good at breastfeeding anyway but i felt awful when i couldn't do it anymore.

hope this helps... xxx

hi lolly glad you are feeling better about things health wise i'm feeling better too had great big curry last night so feel bit naughty but i heard they are supposed to be good for you as the chilli's speed motabilismn not sure if i spelt that right but you get the drift lol

dezzer my cousin had this problem and when expressing milk found she wasn't producing enough maybe you should express so you can monitor what your baby is actually feeding breast doesn't suit every one i didn't produce enough milk so had to bottle feed maybe you could combine the both and see if baby is more content also colidrops are good if bottle feeding or gripe water after feed but not sure if baby is to young my son was a very windy baby but just eliminate a few things and i'm sure you will work out problem i know how you feel my dp went away with work and still does so i was on my own alot when baby was small best thing if you dont want to stay with mil then just get them or someone to come and give you few hours break and you can relax and work up a routine with baby its quite nice really i had to work it all out on my own and kepy a log book on what i ahd changed how he was and i worked it out in the end but just need to focus on sorting the problem and not get anxious asthey do pick up on that also good luck xxx

i had curry last night too! but i went for long long long walk along the seafront today... up the cliffs... was so knackered!! I THOUGHT I MIGHT PASS OUT. i'm sure i can see my bum lifting a bit though, if i really squint...

i've also nagged my hubby into buying me a cheapy exercise bike from argos so i can ride like mad when my son is asleep.

for the first time in ages i feel energized! must try and keep it up.

lolly xxx

lol thats the spirit every morning i ahve my gruling work out at home and i can really see the difference more to do later to work off dinner although it was healthy tonight

really glad your feeling much better though i do like to go on walks but couldn't be bothered today thats the spirit me lol

how is your little one doing? xxxx

hiya bubblagirl!

i'm going to try and keep in up whilst the sun is shining. i caught a bit of sun yesterday , yeah!!! i am so pasty, i look like a sheet of paper.

well done for being healthy and doing your morning workout, it's more than i could manage this morning. baby was up all night with a cold so i am cream crackered today. although for dinner i did have just one big plate of veggies, i couldn't be bothered to cook.

i wish i could just go back to bed today!

how are you and baby? xxx

ouch

hope ity passes soon

if its any consolation (dunno why it ould but sometimes is!) i have struggled too with the whole stupendously ahppy thing.

one step ata time eh

Thanks for the tips - gave him a bottle of fomula for hungrier babies last night and he was out for 4 hours - that's good for him, I feel slightly normal this this morning.

Had to laugh at what you said about being pasty - I looked in a shop mirror yesterday and I looked transluscent! Then plastered on some bronzer... and went with the fluro orange look instead. Going to have to make an attempt to catch some sun.

thanks again

x

hi lolly

yes we are fine thank you just had a stroll into town been trying to do that 3 times a week even if only needing 1 thing but as his 2.3 he doesn't appreciate being sytuck in the chair and if i get him out to walk he wont get back in chair he wants to be carried lol so have to check his mood before i go lol

but today he was good i give him travel colouring pad and crayons and his happy to draw while i get boring shopping done

haven't done my exercises as yet i'm in a cant be bothered mood but will do although the walk is exerciase enough

sorry to hear your little one wasn't well i'm sure you know but i found putting pillow under moses or cot mattress helped settle as clears air waves try and get some rest today just go for short walk so you dont feel to lousy get some fresh air xxx

lol dezzer buy some of that holiday skin moisturiser gives colour gradually that way at least you wont feel transluscent lol

so glad your little one was more settled my little one when he was a baby he was a very hungry baby when he was 12 wks he had to have rusk with milk before bed but made him sleep most of night

glad your feeling better

ah yes... i applied what i thought was a "gentle tinted moisturiser, gradual build..." i now look like an cheese string. great!! i preferred the pasty look!

dezzer, glad that the milk helped a bit and you got some sleep!

bubblagirl - know how you feel, today i just can't be bothered to do a thing. the place is a mess but i just don't care. i think i might try and have a bath before baby wakes up...

xxx

hi lolly hope your cheese string look is fading lol

i'm feeling much better now thanks not done much this week just relaxing as had such busy week last week curry tonight yummy take care hope you and baby are well?

hi, yeah its faded now, thank god!

we are fine, how are you?