Not really sure if this is on the right section or not but here goes, just after some positive words really to give myself a bit of a slap... DS is 4 months old and is amazing. He’s a happy, cheeky chap and we adore him. The problem is I’m constantly worrying or have some sort of anxiety, and if it’s not one thing then it’s something else! He is combi fed, and he was on a breastfeeding strike a few weeks ago and I was an anxious mess for a week about getting enough milk in him. Then the following week, I was obsessing over his naps and him not having enough sleep and was writing in my phone every time he had some milk and had a sleep and how long for. I’m constantly comparing myself to other mums and their ways of doing things and feeling like I’m not good enough. I’ve always been a bit of an obsessive control freak and the fact that I can’t control my DS (when he naps, how much milk he wants, what mood he’s in) makes me anxious because I hate being out of control and its stopping me from enjoying him. There are moments when he looks at me with his big gummy smile and I just melt and a happiness washes over me and I think ‘why can’t I just enjoy these moments all the time?’. I’m constantly glued to my phone googling things about naps, breastfeeding etc when I should be focussed on him. I should also mention that as a child/teen I had OCD that was centred around sleep, I was scared about not getting enough sleep and it making me ill. I still get obsessive about it now and I go to bed worrying about how many times he’ll wake up in the night. Ridiculous I know as it’s what’s expected with having a baby and so far he’s been an ok sleeper! Every time I have a bad night with him I instantly think that every night will be bad from now on and I immediately think it’s all going to be doom and gloom. I hate my own negative attitude. I know that in a years time I’m going to regret being so anxious and obsessive and wish that I’d just taken it all the lovely moments but it’s like I can’t. I just want to enjoy him but feel like I’m not because I won’t let myself.