Just feeling like I can't really cope?

[bellainthemiddle]

This is really pathetic, but I just feel like I'm falling to pieces and I am really worried that I am not coping and that my MH is going to get worse and worse.

DD (our first) is 7 weeks. She arrived early (34 weeks), but is doing brilliantly. I have been loving being a mum and, having a few close friends who have also had their first DC over the last year, I've been able to benefit from all their advice. So, despite the early arrival and it all being a bit stressful in the first instance, everything was going really well.

... until 3 weeks ago, when I started feeling really unwell. This wasn't totally unexpected, since I was waiting for a rheumatology appt to investigate some blood tests, but to cut a long story short, I ended up in hospital with kidney inflammation, which was later diagnosed as being caused by Lupus.

I think I'm just struggling with becoming a mum / feeling not great / being diagnosed with a "lifelong" condition (even though it's fortunately a very manageable one, from what I understand). I should feel grateful that I have a healthy daughter and amazing support from family and friends, but I just feel guilty and when I'm by myself, I constantly feel tearful and really really anxious. I feel like I can't let anyone know how "wobbly" I feel and last week ended up having a bit of a meltdown when I saw the nurse with DD (all a bit overdramatic, lots of crying and "just can't cope" etc.!).

I just feel ... overwhelmed, I guess. And I'm afraid that my MH is going to get worse and that it's going to start impacting on everything and everyone else. But somehow I can't admit it to anyone around me!

Oh you poor love - you’ve been through so much in the past couple of months - more than the ‘average’ new Mum certainly and it is not surprising that you must be pretty overwhelmed. Did the nurse you spoke to last week not refer you on to the gp or anyone else? Please do tell someone - gp/health visitor and your dh - they can make sure you get support. Ask for support - you deserve it💐

She did recommend that I should book with the GP, but I'm putting off, I guess :S The only appointments available in the next few weeks are with one doctor who I never seem to be able to communicate with and when I saw him once about anxiety (ages ago) he basically said, pull yourself together and try harder! So I just feel a bit flakey about it!

Firstly congratulations
Your hormones are all over the place literally
It’s not you, it them

Please speak to one off your friend or your mum
Lots and lots of new mums feel exactly the way you do honestly
Perhaps there doing exactly the same as you and thinking
I’ll not tell anyone how I’m feeling they will think blah blah blah
When really they may feel exactly the same as you. You’ll be very surprised honestly
It’s very hard being a new mum, regards the loving child it’s bloody hard work, hormones erratic, change in sleep pattern. Overwhelming!!!

You are not a mental ill,?its having a new baby and complete change of circumstances. It’s life changing having a baby.

Please open up, it is nothing to be ashamed about.
It’s hormones and a new baby

Hey, wait till you start shredding your hair. Aghhh

Your fine honestly
But don’t let it go on to long if you see no change in a few weeks

Enjoy your little girl

Thank you so much for the reassurance... I'm sorry that everyone else goes through this, but it's kind of a relief to know that I am not totally weird!

I'm still feeling really flakey and DD has been crying what feels like nonstop :( I'm constantly worrying about her (although logically I know that she seems fine - it's the age and the heat!) and I feel like a total failure as a mum... I think I'm just not strong enough to cope and I don't know what to do!

Hi
Awh sorry to hear your still not feeling good.

You obviously already know the symptoms of Lupus
But fatigue is one, I know you said you’ve had blood done but did they check b12 as this can make you feel extremely tired.

Fatigue and a new baby!!
No wonder your feeling like you do
Not to say add in the very hot heat wave we’ve just had, that makes lots of baby’s/adults uncomfortable and stressed as we can’t feel comfortable or sleep properly.

It’s hard when a baby cry’s as we don’t really know why because they can’t actually tell us can they
We try all the usual
Nappy
Food
Temp
Wind
We just want a break from it, our mind goes into overthinking
I’m no good at this, why is .... baby so good, is there something wrong with them blah blah blah

When she’s crying and hubby is there, can you pass her over to him and go outside for a 5/10 min breather. Step away from the situation.
Are you resting when baby is a sleep, essential for you.

As I said previously
If you really feel it’s effecting your mh see your gp
Do you have an app for your practice to see appts on, if so check everyday different times if the day for cancellations.
Ring practice and book forward appt for gp you like, if you don’t need it nearer that time then cancel it.

Does anyone understand the feeling of feeling trapped and stifled by a newborn baby?54

JUst seen this thread, have a read
May make you feel your not on your own thinking like you do

Thank you so much for replying and for the advice! I'll definitely take a look at the other thread...and may be worth checking out the B12 thing, it has been always "borderline" low on my blood tests, but nobody's ever seemed worried about it?