Been diagnosed with PND.......

[runnyhabbit]

Not quite sure why I'm posting, but dh is the only other person that knows about this. It feels like I'm going through the motions, and not actually enjoying anything iyswim.
DS2 is 16wks old, and my HV is 99% sure that I have PND. I've got an an appt with dr next week to rule out anything medical (anaemeia, thyroid etc) but HV said the way I'm feeling sounds like PND.
I know I've taken the biggest step by talking about it, but is there anything else I can do?
I hate feeling like this. I've got 2 wonderful boys, a dh who means the world to me, a loving family, great friends, and no real worries, so why can't I enjoy my life?

I had PND after having DD. I had 2 lovely kids, a wonderful caring DH and just felt... numb, would be the best way of describing it I guess. I didn't have the same happy, smug feeling that I had with DD.

I spoke to my Dr and she prescribed homöepathic pills and hormone pills. I spent a couple of weeks with my MIL, she was great. It was good to have someone take DD out and give me time to bond properly with DS.

My Dr said at the time that it is very important to get help so that the depression doesn't get chronic. You have taken that first step, well done.

Don't feel guilty, it is not a case of "pulling yourself together", you need medical help and when you get it you will feel much better. Then you will start to enjoy lfe again.

Hi Runny, looking in on this thread not because I have any advice but want to see if you've received any. Well done (and thanks) for having the courage to start this thread, anyway.

You have been very brave and coming on here and having a rant or a moan, if you don't wabt to tell others is very therapeutic
There are several other things you can be doing and sometimes, just taking control of small things when all else around feels chaotic is a very positive thing to do#.
I cannot stress enough how important it is for you do get plenty of rest - exahaustion is a proven contributing factor to depression, and eat regularly too (even if it's just small amounts).
Regular exercise has also proved very beneficial to the recovery process. This can be formal (ie a gym or class) or informal (walking briskly with pram or going swimming) but try and fit something in each week - the endophins released will help you feel better.
Is your dh supportive? He may be feeling a bit shell socked too but just keep him informed of how you are feeling and anything practical he can help with (sometimes IME men struggle with the emotional stuff but love to have a definite 'job'!
make sure there are opportunities for you to have some time to yourself, and some relaxation even 10 minutes focussing on your breathing can be useful. Or a hot bath.

Also, talking to other people helps. Find out of there are any support groups near you, or come on here and let rip.

Finally, take 'babysteps'. BE kind to yourself, lower your standards a little, Don't worry about tomorrow, just getting through the next hour and the hour after that. You will get better...!
sorry for the essay Good luck x

Well, until you see the doctor - not much.

Except to give yourself a break - dont expect too much of yourself. Rest as much as you can, and get DH tohelp as much as he can.

Also, its been proven that chocolate helps stimulate seratonin production, so eat lots of that, as does advocado.

Message withdrawn

I feel for all of you I really do.

I havent ever had diagnosed PND but a friend did mention to me that I may have had it. I managed to work thru things myself and therefore decided that I didnt have it as I dont like to claim it when so many people are on meds etc just feels like i am pretending.

After DS was born I was permanently in a state of despair, alot to do with the people around me ignoring all my wishes, taking my baby away at every opportunity ( to other rooms not away away) and not feeling like I had any control, I cried constantly for months and felt like i was forced to consider everyone elses feelings other than my own.

I went back to work at 4 months as i desperately wanted to get away from these people (mainly DH family)by moving but that meant going back to work, then they became my childcarers and the whole thing just got worse... i spent the whole first year of my sons life crying, contemplating divorce and sometimes just plain wanting to die.

We have since moved and things have improved hugely and feel much happier and expecting again. I am hoping to have much less interference this time and hopefully will deal with everything better and we wont have the pressure of moving or anything.

Sorry no advice, but i did contemplate going to the doctors and wish in hindsight that i did even if it was just stress or soemmthing else entirely.

Sorry for the hijack and not offering any real advice.

By the way wanted to say my DH was the same, just though it was a case of pulling myself together.

Eat bananas and fish, salmon is good. It is caused by a chemical inbalance in your brain and you need "artificial" serotonin if you don't make it naturally. Bananas give you this and fish is always a good all round brian food.

My GP told me that it AD's should be put in the water , especially after giving birth.

16 weeks is a long time to feel like that, but going to your doctor is the best thing to do. My story seems very much like mixedmamas- but I am 19 months down the line and only just plucking up the courage to go to the GP as the depression has not gone away. It has turned into something more deep rooted and I feel has done lasting damage to relationships. I knew how I felt wasn't right after about 8 weeks & wish I had sought help sooner. going to see your GP is the start of feeling better.
On a more practical note I did find I was better after a good sleep & only thought about the day in hand-making life as simple as possible.

@mixedmama
Just because your PND wasn't officially diagnosed or treated, doens't mean you did not suffer from it. It is so sad when this kind of thing happens and you were left feeling horrible and told to pull yourself together. PND is not so unusual and it is a shame that there is still some kind of stigma attached to it. Good to hear that you came through it though and that you are happy now. Good luck with your pregnancy!

runny- hello to you and big hugs. a big step is to put things down in words and recognise that how you feel / think is down to this. it can and will get better!!
i was diagnosed with and and had been getting loads of suppor with this. i have been diagnosed with pnd and am due to start on ADs when i end bf. it is a tough thing that affects some of us but we are far from alone.
it is a brave thing to ask for help, and i know you havent told friends / family but you will do it in your own time. be good to yourself, build in pampering time and i am thinking of you. xoxooxo

Not had any experience myself Runny, but just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and all us April ladies, not to mention the rest of mn, are here for you. Let us know how you get on at the docs xxx

well done for asking for help and im really glad youre getting it. youve done well for that, so give yourself a clap on the back.

may there be blue skies and happy days ahead for you in the not too distant future [hippy]

Well done for taking the first step getting help and telling us. Just wanted to add my support. The April Ladies are here when you want to talk. xx

Just wanted to second that runny - it is great that you have made the first step. I still think about counselling as i have lapses but just havent plucked up the courage yet. macmama thx for your words. i wish i have found MN a long time ago.

Thank you so much for your support.

Being able to "talk" here really does make a difference. I'm lucky that I really like my HV, and she seems to know what she's talking about.

I'm still trying to get my head around pnd, as up until a few weeks ago, I felt really well, physically and mentally. Is it possible that something has triggered it? But tbh, that is just like me, trying to find a logical explaination for something.

I felt fine, even happy for about 4 wks after having DS, then one day I woke up and just thought, 'Oh no, not another day of this.'
I think it was a cumulative thing, all the sleeplessness/anxiety, and then one extra bad night can tip you over the edge -- and you don't ever get the chance to properly catch your breath, so you're slipping down further and further. That's what happened to me, I guess (though I do wonder if there's a genetic predisposition going on too, as various women in my family have had PND or in my grandmother's case something which sounded very much like it).
I started feeling better as soon as I was diagnosed -- the relief of knowing there was a reason why i felt the way I did... I hope it's the same for you.

hi runny
can't give any advice sorry, just wondered when your appointment is?

I think for me it was a control thing. I felt like everyone was taking over and I wasnt allowed to make any decisions. I think the trigger can be so many different things it is hard to pinpoint.

I would be interested to know abut how your counselling goes if you want to share it or anyone else who has actually had counselling.... how do you begin that first session. they ask you what u want to talk about and what do you say??? thi sis the point that scares me.

My appt with dr is next Tuesday. I could go to see my regular dr this week, but HV has recommended this other one, who is very good on womens health - physical and mental.

Mixedmama - I was so nervous about ringing the HV. Could feel my heart racing, etc. Had absolutley no idea how I was going to start the conversation. In the end, after I had said who I was, I started to say that I haven't been feeling myself, but burst into tears. She was fab. Told me to take my time. She came out to my house that afternoon, and we just talked and talked.

glad you have a good hv

It was 2 years after the birth of my first child that I realised that I had been suffering from PND - not wanting to do anything, losing contact with most of my friends and feeling totally useless, stressed and unhappy. I covered it up, not wanting to complain about how I felt. I had been to the Dr about this, but they did not think it was that bad and made me feel a bit like an imposter. Five years later I think that I have dealt with it my way, by forcing myself to keep busy and by getting a new job which I really enjoy. However, I feel that it is always there somewhere under the surface waiting to reappear. However, I recently went to the doctor again, and was diagnosed with both anaemia and underactive thyroid, which are now being treated, so it is always worth getting tested for this, as it can cause depression.

Hi Runnyhabit,
I've had PND following the birth of both of my children - a daughter (3 years and 3 months) and a son (5 months). This second time has been much much worse - I ended up in a psychiatric clinic for a month. HOWEVER, that is by far and away the best thing that could have happened to me as I had bags of support and help whilst there. Mixedmamma was asking about counselling - it's amazing. Just being able to talk to somebody who can reassure you that you are not mad, and you're simply going through a bad time and, most importantly, help you work out why it happens to you and stop it happening again. Depression of all kinds happens to the same sort of people - reliable, intelligent, hard working, always look after others first. These are the people who keep going and going and going and don't stop until something breaks. Of course that is going to be much worse after a baby.
If you want something to do to feel like you're taking some positive steps before your Dr's appointment try reading this book (you can order it from Amazon or it's in most bookshops: "Depressive illness, the curse of the strong" by Timothy Cantopher. It explains about depression, what it is and how it's caused, talks about various ADs and counselling etc. I found it really really useful.
Hope all turns out well for you
S