Really struggling with life

[ReanneB24]

Hi everyone. Sorry for what seems is about to be a very depressing post but I wanted to seek help and advice online.

Back in September I started a new part time job that paid me £9.50 an hour and me being under the age of 21, that’s a bit crazy! In the same week of finding out about the new job I passed my driving test. As you can imagine, I was over the moon at this point in life. It felt like my whole life was about to get a thousand times better. I was really desperate for a car and me being young and over the moon I didn’t really think much of a car I just wanted one. I ended up getting a brand new car on finance... face palm which I really do regret to this day. Anyway cutting the story short, me being a new driver on top my finance my insurance was quite high so each month I’ve been paying £550 for a bloody car. Oh the way I wish I bought one. I was enjoying my new job but unfortunately after a few months me working there, my manager who I enjoyed working for left and was replaced by a complete d*ck. he treated me so awful that I went into work balling my eyes out every single day I won’t go much into it. After a few months putting up with his BS I decided to quit. I quit with no back up job nothing. I just left. I knew it was a bad idea in terms of money but I really needed to focus on my mental health. My boyfriend ended up getting me a job at his pub that pays me £8.70 an hour which is alright I suppose but the hours are awful. I begged them to increase my hours but they don’t listen and I barely get 20 hours a week. Remember I have to pay £550 for a car each month!

But anyway, recently I’ve been thinking a lot about my life and what to do and it’s exhausting. I’m barely getting enough money for the car that my boyfriend has to keep lending me money and I hate it. I was thinking of giving the car back in and just buying a used car that’s fairly cheap. I was also thinking of trying to find another job simply because I’m scared to stay here at the pub and keep risking not getting over 20 hours. I honestly think I’m becoming depressed and I don’t know anymore. It’s all good thinking of starting a new job but job hunting is very hard and a long process. Just feel like I can’t carry on

You can't afford the car so have a word with the finance company or the place you bought it from.
You need to find a job as soon as you can so get help from an agency or the job centre.
It may all seem overwhelming right now but it will get better if you take those positive steps.

Firstly, take the car back. You can afford to buy a perfectly good car that will last for years (altho you are a new driver so it may suffer a few donks as you gain experience) for around what you are paying per month. I've only ever once paid more than £400 for a car, and I regularly get 3-5 years (and around 100k miles) from them. Look up the cheap to insure cars for your age, research what is on offer for sale, and take a good mechanic with you when you go to look.

Secondly, get a second job. Even if it is online with Mechanical Turk or something equally dreadful, because it will give you valuable experience.

Thirdly, be real about what you want and what you can afford. Do not buy anything on credit. It really isn't worth the stress at your age.

Fourth, look up volunteering jobs, workaway and all those low paid but funky opportunities that will build up a great cv, and give you a chance to discover where your path in life may lie.

If I'd had a clue at 21 what I'd be doing for the last 20 years, I'd have been staggered! Most of it has been seizing opportunities, and creating them by listening very hard to people I respected or who were living as I wanted to. Good luck!