In vicious cycle with work stress and depression

[Blankspace4]

Been struggling for weeks, approaching months with an increasing despair and unhappiness at work. I feel isolated, unfulfilled, disliked, bored to tears, and that my career has completely died.

I won’t go into details but I’ve started drinking far too much and also regularly self medicating with prescription meds to take the edge off / block things out.

I know this isn’t healthy. My workplace is the type of place where you can’t speak up or admit you’re struggling.

I am keeping up appearances at the moment but feel I need to be signed off to take a break and deal with these issues. But I’m petrified that there will be no way back if I do take a leave of absence.

This whole situation is making me sick to the stomach with dread and I don’t know what to do.

You could get signed off for your mental health but not tell your work why. Just say vaguely you've had a health scare you need to recover from (or something like that ).

Some time out will give you space to consider your options.
Ultimately it sounds like you need to change jobs.

Take some time off. As PP said, you can be vague. You need the space to recover. And it’s definitely worth cutting down on drinking. It won’t be helping.

I am in a similar situation and have been signed off for two weeks and prescribed sertraline. I dont think I'll be going back.

Thanks all for replying. I appreciate feeling like I’m not alone, when I do often feel I am.

I have read I can fill in a self referral for support / counselling without visiting GP so will set a goal to do this this weekend.

I’m just terrified about the stigma of being off. My work aren’t very supportive and once I’m off I don’t think I could return, I have a fair amount of debt so I couldn’t afford not to work. I agree I need to find something new, as prior to this role I occasionally struggled but always managed to find a way through.

I found out I was infertile a few months ago too and I think that combined with the work depression has left me feeling utterly inadequate and without purpose.

@Babyroobs if you don’t mind me asking, what have you told your work? What does the medical certificate say?

@Rainatnight aware of that re the alcohol. Also been taking diazepam and anti histimines and occasionally painkillers. Not necessarily together but I am lax with it and i know it’s risky. I’m not trying to overdose but I do need the blank feeling any combination of the above gives me

Can you not take some annual leave in the first instance?

Potentially but they are not the type to sign off leave at short notice, at least not without it causing more hassle when I have to return

Blankspace . My team leader and the manager above her knew I had been struggling. I am in a relatively new job and it has turned out very different to what I expected. I told my team leader months ago how I wa struggling , she did nothing even despite the organisation having various mental health procedures in place/ people first aid mental health trained etc. Things came to a head last week - I had had a bad day with clients and then my team leader came in and criticized work I had done and humiliated me really. I confronted her about a few things/ lack of support etc and I cried and didn't stop crying for the next 24 hours. I went to the Dr and he didn't hesitate to sign me off. My sick note says stress/ anxiety. I would have preferred it to say depression because I think the really low feelings and the constant knot in my stomach are depression. I guess he thinks it may be work related stress and will resolve once I am away from the job and had time to sort myself out so maybe reluctant to diagnose depression just yet?

I have just told them the truth - that I have seen my GP and been prescribed anti-depressants then I scanned them the sick note. I feel better already for being away from the situation for a few days but still feel very flat and tearful. I don't think I'll be going bac, fortunately I can afford to wait a while to look for something else..

@Babyroobs I’m glad you got out of the situation. Work has such a massive impact on life when it’s not going well doesn’t it.

Yes it does. I feel better already for being away. My more senior manager has sent an email of support, my team leader has made no contact with me. Fortunately I only have to give one weeks notice as I am in my probation period, so hopefully I can do that to avoid having to go back at all.

Fear and dread has really kicked in about tomorrow. I’m lying in bed trying to nap but I can’t.